Like A Moth To A Flame
by urharmony
Summary: Semma. Does anyone else agree that after the shooting, Sean should of stayed? That Jay shouldn't of been the guy Emma turned to but in fact, it'd probably be hotter if she and Sean had turned back to another in need, and still, in secret (Since he's with Ellie). . how long will that secret last? What girl does Sean truly want? Does that girl even want him back?
1. She Shouldn't Be Like This

It was raining, and Sean stepped on a newspaper from this morning. School was over, thank god, the press from the shooting was getting awful. It had been two weeks since.

Ellie talked to him about the shooting like it wasn't THAT big of a deal anymore, and this whole sherade with the media over Sean being a hero should be over. As much as he agreed that he wasn't a hero, he couldn't agree this shooting should just be forgotten.. and it was wierd coming from a girl who, weeks ago, kept asking him to talk about his _feelings _with her about what happened.

He was starting to get drenched, standing in the rain, looking up at the grey sky and standing alone. He looked to the left side of the stairs of Degrassi, it still had candles and flowers around for the deaths and almost deaths of Degrassi from the pain Rick Murray had caused

Sean dug into his grey hoody's pocket and grabbed his black tuke out, pulling it onto his head. His wet shoes squeeked on the floor as he got inside, and could hear the rain falling against the windows. Rain dropped from his button nose and dark eyebrows. His blue eyes scanned the hallways.

School was over, he knew that. And no, for once he didn't have detention. He just...he saw _her_ come in after everyone had gone.

Why'd she come back in?

The school was a little creepy from being so quiet, and only the noise his shoes made was heard. He tried to wipe the raindrops on his face off with his sleeve and when he opened his eyes again he stopped like a deer in the headlights.

He was looking for her, he knew that.. but he hadn't seen her sitting there before so it scared him that she finally right **here**_**, **_6 feet away from him. He thought he was ready to talk, but he had to quickly panic about what he was going to say..

She sat on the ground, her blonde hair only damp since she wasn't in the rain as long as him when she was outside. She leaned on a random locker and wore light blue jeans and a white t-shirt... that glow she use to have, faded from her skin and she looked emotionless. Had he ever mentioned he liked her new hair? The bangs made her look so soft..

Sean's body tensed, noticing that she indeed did look numb, and his stomach turned.

_This wasn't suppose to happen to her. She isn't suppose to be like this._

She hadn't even heard him coming her way, she stared numbly still at the blank wall across from her.

"Didn't you hear?" he slightly joked, stopping in front of her, "Schools over."

Emma slowly looked up, hearing his voice and blinked a little. The numb feeling down in her gut stayed, but her eyes seemed to take notice it was **Sean Cameron** speaking to her and she looked around, trying to take that in.

"I heard." was all she said, looking back at where she once was.

He shifted awkwardly, but stayed and shook his head at himself. This was the only girl that could make him shake in his boots, metaphorically of course. He nervously itched the back of his neck and sat down next to her.

As out of it as she was, he still noticed she could still remember at a time like this to slide a bit away from him. He frowned, and just moved close to her again.

She didn't move, but then turned her head when she noticed someone beside her and gave him a wierd and almost outraged look. What the hell did he want?

She clearly wanted to be alone..

"What do you want? Haven't you done enough?" she nearly taunted, bitterly looking back at the blank wall.

His turn to give her a look of confusion, and even more outraged type of look, "_Enough_?" he almost shouted, "I-" he stopped himself.

He'd been trying to hide this fact for a week now from everybody else, but his heart knew it, his mind..

He _saved _her. He saved Emma Nelson and it wasn't something he'd hold against her, it was something he wanted to scream on the roof tops actually, because Emma would of never wanted any help from _anyone_. Especially him

"You were going to be.." he choked up, not being able to say it. Then the fact of Emma dying flashed through his head like it did every night with the nightmares. . why couldn't she be happy he had saved her?

Her anger towards him softened a little, but only to confusion. What the hell did he care if she was shot.. or died.

She picked her knees up a bit, craddling them by her chest, "Go away, Sean." talking to an ex about this wasn't exactly what she wanted right now.

Sean angered, and remembered everything about Emma that use to piss him off like this. When she pretended she didn't need him, when she acted like nobody could help her. He **could** if she'd just **let him** for fucking sakes.

"No." he snapped.

Her mouth fell a bit and looked at him to notice his stern look.

"I'm not leavin." he simply said, leaning back against the lockers and getting comfy.

"But you're so _good_ at it." she sneered back at him, and all emotion back in her eyes. He'd be happy to see a bit of feelings coming out of her, but the hatred that sent through her eyes and into him, stung a little.

But, nothing he didn't expect.

Like he said to her before, their break up sucked. He shouldn't of dumped her, he was being selfish because all her attention was on Snake, who had cancer, and not on her whiney boyfriend, he got that now. He grew up, he understood. He had taken her for granted and he hurt her even more by trying to make her jealous with Amy. That backfired when wanna be DJ Chris Sharpe was thrown in the mix. He'd forever hate that guy. .it sucked seeing her with another guy. He never thought about it when they broke up, that'd she be with someone else. It tore at him, specially when she came back this year looking twice as beautiful as she was the last when she was with him.

Do you think he never thought of trying to _apologise_ to Emma? Of fucking course he did, 1000 times, 1000 different ways but the end of the results would be...they were _over_. She hated him as much as he tried to hate her after the break up. It was hard though, he just couldn't, Emma would always have a piece of him but they were just so different that it couldn't work out, could it? Specially with his friends in the mix now, and her friends who probably hated him now which sucked, cause he was really close to JT and Toby once upon a time but..that was his fault.

Would he ever get back with Emma if he had a chance? A big part of him would say yes, shout it even... but they couldn't, their was too much history now, too much hurt, and she didn't deserve any more pain that he was so great as causing. No, the best Sean could do was stay with Ellie.

Ellie was his next best shot and things were.._fine_, she was sweet, to him at least. Living together was good, only annoying thing was her freak farret and the fact he may of told her he loved her when he didn't think he did. You'd know if you loved a person, _you know?_ He guessed it was just his big mouth trying to also move on from the empty feeling in his gut.

Ellie was sweet though, least to him, he knew she had that whole punk thing to her. Girls were scared of her like everyone was scared of Sean. Sean actually noticed other than Emma, he dated a lot more.._darker_ girls than Emma. Less prude to be honest, not so **golden** girl. Yet.. as he looked at Emma right now, she didn't look very innocent or pure today... he wasn't sure if it was just the shooting on her mind, or what, but she looked... a bit broken. It killed him.

"call me whatever names you want to," shrugged Sean, not moving, "I'm not going anywhere."

Emma looked at him icily, "Then let me be the one to go." she got up and his mouth fell a bit, watching her grab her jean jacket and get up.

"Emma!" he shouted, shaking his head and got up to quick. He winced a bit, still feeling the wound in his shoulder.

That's where the bullet had hit him.

He ignored it anyways so he could chase after her and he grabbed her arm and swung her back but she turned her head so she didn't have to look at him.

"Talk to me! Talk to _somebody."_ he sat, rather upset, and his hands almost shook, "You just look so._.fucking_ **empty!** Where are you?!" he asked desperately and noticed himself shouting and scared himself.

He panted, as she finally looked back at him, showing a little mercy. How did he notice she hadn't talked to anyone?

Silence.

Sean noticed her tense body begin to relax though, and his eyes begged her to talk to him, "Why'd he go after you?" he whispered a little.

He wondered this every night. Why did Rick go after Emma? The only thing he ever remembered with those two was Emma and Paige handing out those orange ribbons to get Rick kicked out of school. Was it because of that? Cause if so, why didn't he go after Paige? Why **just **Emma, why **his Emma**, just why? He wanted to understand how someone would wanna hurt her, _kill her_.

"I don't know Sean." she numbly said, her body beginning to tense up again. He tried to hold her arm tighter to bring her back to him.

"Well you had to of if.."

"I don't know!" she yelled, fire back in her eyes and for only being 15, and Sean 16 with some classic biceps, he jumped back.

"I just meant..." he drifted off, looking down at his shoes. .

Emma coughed from the cry she was trying to keep down, "You're just wondering why I could make someone want to point a gun at my face?" she fought her tears and snickered, "Well you tell me Sean, you've hated me more than anybody else."

He took one more step back from her like she had slapped him, "I didn't hate you." he said quietly, but his eyes staring honestly into hers but she didn't look like she wanted to accept it.

It's like she liked it better to pretend they hated another rather than pretending to be 'friends'.

Emma snickered at him then bittered, "go away." she turned, and Sean noticed her stop at the entrance door, looking for a ride or something.

"No." they shared a glare, and Sean stayed where he stood.

He got lost in thought again, "Was.." he had to know, "Was he mad at you for starting that campaign with Paige?"

"he kissed me okay?!" Emma yelled, twirling back to him and tears now down her cheeks.

Sean's eyes widened. He was so in shock during the time Rick had walked to them with a gun, that he had missed the words fall from Ricks mouth, _'I'm sorry I kissed you Emma_,' . .. it was all coming back to Sean, in a painful blur. He must of been so worried about getting Emma out of there, that all the noise was whipped from his head until he tried to talk Rick down from doing anything he'd regret.

'_I thought you liked me, but that was something else'_ Ricks voice was haunting Sean's head as all the black out mess he tried to forget, was now coming back to him.

What..what happened between them? Did Rick _hurt _Emma? He heard he hurt Terri before.. he remembered when Emma was explaining the point of her campaign weeks before the shooting, that Ellie made a remark to her and he rolled his eyes like he agreed but he didn't, and fuck! He should of stayed, he should of watched her more carefully, he should of _protected_ Emma!

His eyes were watering as well but she had turned and looked back to the rain falling.

"Hate me all you want." Sean said, "I'm not gonna hate you." he swallowed hard. He was going to help Emma weather she liked it or not.

Maybe he needed to go to Snake in order to get through to her.

He heard a sort of a bitter laugh from her that almost sent shivers down his spine, "Oh yeah?" she asked almost like a challenge.

She turned, and there was that numb look in her eyes as she raised one of perfectly shaped eyebrows and their was a honk outside but nothing could break away these two stare at another.

"try it Emma. It won't work." Sean declared, ready for any thing she wanted to swing at him. How bad could it be? He knew he was a jackass, a loser, a failure, her biggest regret.

The next words, hit him so hard he wasn't able to move for minutes, "Im fooling around with Jay _Hogart_."


	2. How Could You

"try it Emma. It won't work." Sean declared, ready for any thing she wanted to swing at him. How bad could it be? He knew he was a jackass, a loser, a failure, her biggest regret.

The next words, hit him so hard he wasn't able to move for minutes, "Im fooling around with Jay Hogart."

_It had to be a lie_. Sean repeated this over and over in his head but it didn't keep him from visibly shaking with what? Anger? Jealousy? Hurt? All the above?

Emma even saw how rattled he was over this, and she just looked at him, taunting like.

His chest caved in.

No. Why... why would she say something like that? That wasn't true. She and Jay hated another, Jay had been a big reason to the stress of their relationship when they were in one.

She- She wouldn't do that, she... he was scum, she was so _good._ If she did that, then she wasn't perfect to him anymore, she was a ..a..

"That doesn't hurt me." he lied, and it showed so well.

"Good," she said, nodding, "Cause it's not going to stop if did or didn't hurt you. For once it's not **about **you-" she jumped when his fist hit a locker

It echoed through the empty halls. He cursed in his head, shutting his eyes and feeling the pain around his knuckles.

They heard a car honk again, Jay's car. The bright orange civic, Sean didn't know how he could miss it. Jay must of not been able to see Sean from behind Emma or he would of driven off cause Jay was a coward like that, a snake, a horrible fucking friend.

Sean wanted to hit something again and Emma knew it, since now he had seen prove she and Jay really were hooking up. She was giving him a daring look to hit her, like she wanted him to, which he'd never and stared at her like he didn't even know her anymore.

He grabbed her a bit roughly when she went to turn and go to **him**.

**That devil in the flesh**.

He was stupid to **ever **worship the ground Jay walked on, he already knew that but this, this took the cake.

Emma almost whimpered by how hard he grabbed her and he saw a flash of _his_ Emma, she **was** in there, just deep down, screaming to get out.

"This isn't you." Sean said through his anger, trying to calm down and make her see this.

"Wrong." she yanked her arm out of his hold, "It is me, you _don't know_ me anymore, and I don't owe you _anything_ if you think I do just because you **saved** me." she laughed a bit at that and that's when Sean understood what she meant by that.

She wanted to die.. she wished he didn't save her. .. but no, that couldn't be true, how could she _say_ that?

"Go crawl back to your hole." was the last she said, before turning and running off, into the rain, into the orange civic.

Sean watched the car go, and even stepped outside in the rain to watch it, to his horror, go the direction of the Ravine.

How could Jay do this? To him? It wasn't shocking he was doing it to Alex, he's done it before.. but what about to Emma? A girl who had just gone through something like this, a girl who Jay **knew ** Sean would always feel something for. How fucking dare he!

Sean's foot kicked out to slam itself into a near by trash can, all the garbage falling down the steps and thuds of the metal can falling step by step until splashing into the puddle.

Sean sat on the very first step, letting the world crash around him, just letting the rain melt him.

_How could __**she**__ do this to __**him**__?_

_**I've seen it all  
I've seen it all today  
I cried a tear  
I tried to turn away**_

But it's raining in my heart  
Every time we are apart  
And the sun won't shine today  
So I have to walk away  
If I could fly  
You know that I'd try  
If I could fly  
If I could fly  
You know that I'd try  
If I could fly  
Raining in my heart  
It is raining in my heart

_**(the cranberries- raining in my heart)**_


	3. Some Space

"What took you so damn long?" breathed Jay hotly in Emma's ear.

Emma just wanted him to just shut up, and do what they had begun to do since last week. Alex had no clue, and she wanted it to stay that way. Honestly, she should of never even told Sean but the word Revenge, was sounding so nice in her head.

She felt him smirk against her neck as he kissed it, "Weren't with another guy, were ya?"

Would if be horrible if she was? Not like he kept to one girl.. which Emma didn't mind. Her and Jays.. 'friends with benefits' was just fine with her. Everyone looked at her all day since the shooting like she was glass, even _Sean_. Jay was the only one who kept using her, no shame. She liked it. Was that so bad?

"Maybe I just didn't care to make you wait." Emma taunted and he lifted his head to look down at her from laying on top.

He chuckled, carressing her blonde hair behind her ear and she looked away, hating when he did stuff like that.

Just get to the dirty deeds already..

"You're somethin, Greenpeace. You know that?" he taunted, and she shut him up with a kiss. He was a little stunned, but gladly took it, parting her mouth and shoving his tongue against hers. He smirked pulling away, letting his hand move up her shirt.

He got harder around Emma than he did with any other girl, even his _girlfriend,_ maybe it was the fact she pretended to be so innocent before and now was getting frisky in the sheets with _him_, bad of all evil, Jay Hogart.

She'd gotten hot too, he couldn't deny, and her little hands could really do the trick and have him coming in seconds. For being so virgin Mary, she was good at it, especially when she used her mouth. He knew that mouth of hers could do more than just bicker at him.

He hungrily began to un do her jeans, knowing that wasn't the every night deal but he wanted to give her a little something back too for all she's given him.

"Don't." Emma snapped, pushing him slightly off and he sat up, giving her an insane look.

Why didn't she ever want anything back from him? Did she like feeling used or something? Most girls- fuck, lets face it..she's not most girls.

"Fine." he laid back over her, unzipping his pants, "Lets get to it then." his eyes twinkled and chuckled when she pushed him off but only so he'd lay on his back and he groaned a bit when she laid over him. The fact she was 15 should also stop him, since him being 17, but the girl could get so hot and frisky. The other big reason he should stop, was because this was the girl his best friend (even he knew) wasn't over. . but he played a good game at pretending to be with Ellie. So, so be it, Jay and Emma could have their own game of it too.

He used her hair to help move her up and down his shaft and he groaned, "Fuckkk, Greenpeace." his forehead began to sweat a little and his hips were even trying to meet up with her mouth.

"Oooooo fu-"

"FUCK!" yelled Ellie, sitting on the couch and spilling her black nail polish.

Ashley giggled next to her, "It's fine, just put alcohol in it, comes right out." she promised.

"Sean's gonna _kill _me." the redhead said, cringing and got up to go grab the napkins from the kitchen.

Ashley looked around, noticing Sean not there and he wasn't there the other day she was over, "How is he...anyways?" she slowly asked.

Ellie blinked and turned back to Ash, and looked down. Sean's been having late night walks, after school walks, and just random walks as much as he could. He barely wanted to be alone with anybody. Ashley frowned, seeing what she did and shook her head.

"Forget I asked."

Ellie came back, and sat at the couch, whipping up the mess to then stop and sadly look down, "He won't ever talk to anyone, you know? About **it**."

"I thought you wanted to move on from **it**?" Ashley asked.

"I do.. "sighed Ellie, rolling her eyes and painfully looked at the brunette, "Can I tell you something? Something you swear you'll never tell anyone."

Ashley laughed lightly and nodded, "Ofcourse, El."

Ellie looked down again and shrugged, "I hate that everybody won't shut up about Sean being a hero. I mean, yea he was, he's amazing like that.." she looked up in love land as she thought about Sean, "but it's the fact that the person he was a hero to, that bugs me."

"My brother?" Ashley asked, knowing Toby was with Sean during what happened and couldn't help but give Ellie a look that that was harsh

"No!" exclaimed Ellie and scoffed, "no.. it's.." she stared off, and passed Ashley a obvious look.

Ashley reminded herself the other person was Emma, the Emma, the girl Sean dated for years before Ellie, his first love.

"Oh," she passed Ellie a slight eye roll, "Emma."

Ellie looked up, guilty like, "He is **not** her hero. He's **mine**. Get it?" she asked, hoping someone understood that.

Ashley nodded, "I get it, but do you see her trying to put her claim back on him?" Ashley asked her, "Oh Sean trying to get her back?" she shook her head no to make Ellie feel better.

Ellie thought about it and honestly replied, "No. But I feel like it's there either way, her claim on him? That she has no right to have.."

Ashley paused and wondered how that could be then bit her lip. She changed the subject, "Don't you think Sean would of saved _anybody_ that was next to him during that shooting?"

"It just had to be _her."_ growled Ellie, leaning back on the couch and crossing her arms. And she wasn't so sure about that, she was sure though that he would of stupidly walked toward Rick if Emma hadn't of.

It was silent again but Ellie leaned her head back against the couch and just used the silence to think.

She finally spoke again, "I wasn't threatened of her before, I knew their history but the two stood so far away from another that I just _wasn't _threatened. He'd never talk about her, and they lived separate lives and I was good with that. It let me and Sean be alone and happy together, then all this went down and he jumps infront of a **bullet** for her? Was he even thinking of me at all?"

"Are you thinking now that the reason they stayed away from another-"

"Was because they weren't over another?" Ellie finished and looked at Ashley were tears in her eyes now.

**Exactly** what she was thinking, she also wasn't in Degrassi nor knew Sean when he was with Emma; so was he ever happy with her too? _More Happy?_

Ashley looked down painfully, not wanting to agree with Ellie. Sean may of loved her like Ellie said he told her before, but he clearly had some closure issues with Emma. She insisted that that's all it was.

"Maybe they just didn't get their closure, El." Ashley explains, "You gotta let him figure it out, I know it's tough, but he's in a bad place now."

"I understand." nodded Ellie, "And I will.. cause I know, I _know_ it's gotta be me he picks in the end." she tried to bare a smile and pointed around her apartment, "I mean, whose he live with? Whose he come home to?"

Ashley smiled and nodded back, and the two got back to their girls night and painting their nails. Ashley snuck a glance back at the love struck Ellie and couldn't help but maybe fear for her. Jumping infront of a bullet for some ex, wasn't something a regular guy who was over the girl, would do...

But she insisted Ellie was right, Sean may just be confused. Time would tell.

The front door open and both girls' eyes widened to another and tried to sit up, and pretend they weren't just talking about him.

He dragged himself inside, not even a hello. Ellie gave Ashley a 'see?' kind of look and Ashley spoke up, "hey Sean."

He even jumped a little, turning from the sink he was about to lean on and blinked, looking between her and Ellie.

"Hey." Ellie said softer and he tried to blink and snap out of it

"He-" he stopped himself and pushed his feet over to her to go kiss her hello and did it quickly, "Hey."

Ashley smiled to Ellie, giving her back the 'see' look. Ellie and Sean were gonna be just fine! Just fine.

"You're drenched." Ellie said, laughing nervously, "Where've you been? Out in the rain?"

"I.." he looked for the best excuse, "Walked home from school, had to talk to Raditch."

"Always a good conversation with you two." Ellie teased him.

He weakly smiled and glanced at his room, "I need a nap." he admitted.

Ashley felt for him, she really did, Toby was a wreck too still but Sean was slightly more scary and something right now, really looked like it was eating up at him.

"We can give you some space for the weekend!" Ashley insisted, getting up, "We can go to my house?" she suggested.

Ellie made a quick pout but Ashley scolded her, reminding her Sean needed his space if Ellie wanted to stay in this perfect relationship

"yeah!" Ellie insisted, standing up and walked around the couch, "Go get some rest," she leaned up kissing him, "You need it. But text me!"

She noticed he didn't kiss her back.

He smiled rather appreciate like though and nodded, watching her gather her leather coat and run into their bedroom for a few other things. She came out, and followed Ashley to the door.

"Love you." she tossed over her shoulder and closed the door.

He shut his eyes, cringing a little and dragged his feet to his room. He decided to take a shower first, and he whipped his hoody off and swung it on his floor. He stepped into his bathroom, peeling his wet shirt off too then jeans.

The water from the shower head poured down on his head and his strong shoulders. He shut his eyes, letting it wash over him but flashes of memories were hitting him hard so he opened his eyes and stared at the 'hot and cold' handle of his shower.

He listened to the water draining on him and falling around the tub.

Then, even as it still poured, he stopped hearing it. Everything went quiet. His eyes started empty like at the handle.

_She was probably with him right now._

Sean's fist met up with the ugly wall of his shower, he shot it back and hit it again as if it didn't take a beating from the locker earlier on.

He gritted his teeth, water shaking off him each time he sent a punch at the wall until he stopped, throwing himself back from it and grabbed the shower bar to support him as he panted and shut his eyes tight.

His chest was caving in, and he really thought he was going to cry. Then he noticed, it was just his heart, his heart felt it..was ..having a panic attack or something.

He got out, whipping a towel around his waist and let himself lean on his sink to breath and try to calm down.

He shut his eyes softly..

_"Double cheese pizza, me, you." Sean teased Emma during computers class and she giggled beside him, rolling her eyes as he smirked when he could see her blush showing._

Sean opened his eyes wildly, and turned on the sink, splashing cold water in his face.


	4. Only Sean

Sean barely slept that night, and the next night wasn't going so well either. He had to see it for himself. He got up, and got changed into his white wife beater and jeans, his hoody and tuke.

All day he thought about how he could stop it, even planned on telling Alex, but that might of result in Emma getting hurt. As much as she hurt him, he wouldn't let that happen.

He thought about even telling her parents, but the thought of that made him think she'd try to get him back even worst and it'd be an on going war with another. He didn't want a war with her.

He just wanted to protect her.

He got out, and his feet led him to the park he knew too well. This was where he and Amy hooked up as well, just after the break up with Emma. He wanted to try anything to get over her, and it hadn't worked. It'd been a year since he'd been here.

The ravine.

Same low lives were sitting around, drinking beer, rap music playing. He looked around but didn't see _them_, but then he quickly rushed behind a tree seeing **her **just enter from the other pathway. She also lived near by, he guessed she thought Jay was in the van siince she was headed straight to it.

He knew the van was actually empty, ironically Amy had just jumped out with another guy just minutes ago so Emma's _precious _little Jay wasn't in there.

He could feel his chest caving again, crushing his heart and lungs and he swallowed hard before storming after her, looking around so nobody saw him grab her right at the van when she opened it, and he then shoved her inside, him following after and swung it shot.

Emma sat on the floor, turned and bewildered when she noticed who had just flung her inside. Sean Cameron's eyes, though could be so blue, stared coldly down at her.

"how many times?" he asked furiously.

"what?" she was a bit scared now, she never wanted him to **see **her here, just _know_.

"did you fuck him?"

Emma sat up as he inched closer, "**Don't** talk to me like that!" she shook her head at him

"Why not?" Sean eyes watered, "You let any other guy use you that way." he caught her arm when she went to actually slap him, the fire back in her eyes.

"No. I didn't **fuck **him." Emma answered and finally was allowed her arm back. How could he be so cruel to think she would do _that_. _**That**_was a whole other thing.

She whimpered when he actually pushed her back down to the floor of the van, "Sean!" she exclaimed and he pinned her down but let his head hang low and they just laid there, _just like that_.

She knew he'd never hurt her, this wasn't his intention. He just wanted her to **stop** and her eyes watered too, not sure if she could.

If 'feeling bad' was all she could feel, then it's what she had to do. She didn't want to feel _dead_ anymore.

Sean was panting, and he closed his eyes, inhaling her scent and closed his eyes tighter.

Vanilla.

God he missed that.

Emma whimpered a bit more, hating to be stuck here quietly, with _him_, and having to think about what she was doing and had even begun to feel horrible.

Damn him! She hated him! She hated him so _fucking _much!

She felt his breath closer to her neck and bit her lip. "Sean." it didn't come out as a protest this time.

She hated him...she hated...when he did this to her. It hurt to know he could still make her feel like this. Why was he doing _this?!_

The tip of his nose rubbed against her neck first, before his lips replaced it and she sucked in a breath. He paused for only a second, but he couldn't resist anymore, and softly began to trail kisses down her neck.

Other boys weren't this gentle, Jay wasn't like this..

Emma looked up at the cieling, a tear dropping from the corner of her eye, "Don't." her voice cracked.

Sean raised his head, looking back down in her eyes and finally saw some emotion. His heart skipped and he happily brushed his thumbs against her soft cheek, whiping the tear.

That's all he needed to see. She felt _some _shame. She felt _something_.

His eyes locked on hers for moments, and he couldn't stop himself from leaning down and pushed his lips to hers. She felt tense under him, and he kissed her once more softly and try to make her relax. She melted into it, it was some curse he had over her and she whimpered from it, wishing he'd just stop because she didn't have the energy too and she didn't want to look like some idiot still pinning over him.

He kissed her more passionately when he felt her slightly kiss back, and his heart began to race.

_She's kissing back, she's kissing me back._

He ran his fingers through that hair of hers he'd been secretly admiring for months, and he gripped it as he kissed her harder and this time, she moaned out.

"Sean.." she moaned more and he happily went back to kissing around her neck

"Em." he sighed in bliss against her neck, closing his eyes and stopped for a second, just to enjoy it, and kissed it once more so tenderly.

He didn't plan for this to happen, but this Emma, this moaning Emma was driving him nuts and he wanted to know her just a _little._

Emma's bit her lower lip feeling Sean begin to kiss her neck harder, and she was sure it'd leave a mark. With Jay, she told him she'd end it if he left a mark, but Sean? Sean was just..allowed

Her eyes then snapped open, feeling his hands begin to sway up her skirt-

"I'm not some _slut_!" she snapped, pushing him off her so hard he sat back up on his knees and she crawled back

He panted, a shocked look on his face and darted his eyes around. Oh god, him- him and Emma were _really just _doing that.

He angered, letting the rejection drill through him, "Oh but you'd let Jay use you like one?"

_SLAP!_

This time, Sean didn't catch her wrist and he felt the sting on his cheek. Her eyes held tears and she glared at him from the ground and he actually felt a twist of pain in his stomach and he looked down at the ground ashamed.

"I'm...I-I'm sorry." he stuttered, a bit baffled

Silence.

He then closed his eyes, surrendering to the jealousy stirring in him, "Jay _isn't _a good guy!" he yelled at her.

"And you are?!" she snickered madly.

"Yea!" he barked. He'd never use her like Jay was, he'd actually appreciate her. Maybe he didn't use to like he should, he took her for granted but back then he even knew she was too pure to touched like **that**. You looked at Emma, you didn't _touch. _

But suddenly, Sean was understanding they were growing older, and he had the desire to do just that and wanted to be the only guy who did so. At least she said she wasn't having _sex_, but it didn't make him less angry or thrilled thinking of other guys' hands on her.

"You think you and Jay aren't alike?" Emma laughed almost mentally at that and he gave her a look, "Look where you are Sean."

Sean blinked, and slowly did so. A run down van, candles around them. .

"Look _what _you're doing." she sat up more and eyed him with those hazel eyes he could never forget, "Look who **also** has a girlfriend." she raised an eyebrow.

Sean stared hatefully at her, but really, it was at himself. She was right. Fuck he wasn't this type of guy, he never respected cheaters it's just... fuck it was _Emma._ Jesus, Ellie could never find out..the girl cut herself for christ sakes and lived with him.

"You're going home." he snapped and pulled the van open and grabbed her hand to pull her out.

He did so, but when she jumped out she struggled but he held her against the van.

"Emma, stop!" he yelled at her, "You're _losing it!"_

She looked up against the van and into his eyes, "that's none of your concern."

What an odd thing to say back. Sean stared incredibly at her, then didn't let go of her hand as he began to drag her home with him.

"What you doing!" she exclaimed, trying to use all her might to rip her hand out of his but he was too strong.

"I'm not stupid." Sean growled over his shoulder to her, "I tell you to go home, you'll pretend to you will, and you'll just stay and wait for him."

"No I won't!" Emma lied and still struggled but yelped as he forced her faster, heading to his apartment.

He wasn't going to give up, he was going to get her the help she needed.

"If you don't let go?" Emma tugged his hand back and he turned, "I'll tell Ellie **everything **and even make up more for _fun_." she taunted.

She didn't bluff as he stared at her in disbelief. When had she gotten so cold?

He gritted his teeth though, and kept pulling her, "If you tell her, I'll tell your mommy and daddy what you've been up to."

He felt her stop struggling, and she numbly walked beside him now and he glanced over, kinda shocked she listened to him. He felt a quick sting of feeling bad for threatening her like that, but it had to be done.

He had been able to trust her by the time he reached his place and he let her go to unlock the door. He came in, but didn't hear footsteps following and turned.

She stayed outside the door, just glaring inside and didn't want to go in.

**She **lived here with him, didn't she? She heard that once from Manny.. who had heard it from Paige at cheersquad with Hazel.

Sean leaned over, grabbing her hand again and yanked her a little inside, and shut the door behind him.

"We're..." he drifted off, not wanting to make her think he was **wanting **this, "Alone." maybe he did, a little.

She watched him at the corner of her puffy red eyes, circling his kitchen and getting two glasses of cups.

"You want some water?" he asked.

"No." she simply replied monotone, her eyes falling on the couch. She bet Ellie and him had tons of times on that couch, she glanced at his room...she also wondered if they did _that_ in there.

Her stomach turned

Sean poured her a glass anyways, and was about to come over with it until he slowed down. Emma didn't notice herself doing it, but she was rubbing her wrist. He cringed a bit, hoping he didn't hurt her, she just struggled so damn much.

She snapped out of it when he pulled her towards the couch and sat her down on it gently. He bent a bit infront of her and she eyed him suspiciously when he laid her glass on the night table beside her and then took her wrists carefully in his hands

She watched his eyes actually sore to the slight red mark on one of her wrists that he may of caused, but she didn't blame him. He was right, she _was _losing it.

She snuffled a bit, trying to fight the tears as his fingers traced her wrist so delicately, and the tingles came back to her, all the old feelings and she wished he'd just _stop. _It was too painful.

He watched his own fingers gently rub her wrist and he couldn't help but to lean down and kiss them both softly as he put both her wrists side by side and he closed his eyes .

Emma sucked in a shakey breath, and took her hands back from his when he had looked back up at her.

She tried not to let it effect her.

"When can I go?" she instantly asked.

He laughed. Ofcourse that was her question.

"Ellie's gone for the night." he saw her wince a bit and he looked down as well. This felt wrong in the way he shouldn't be doing this behind her back, but Emma needed him, "I'll sleep on the couch" he insisted.

Emma, thinking of all the nights the _cute little couple_ had probably laid in that bed, shook her head no.

"I'll take the couch." she declared.

"You might leave."

"then sleep on it too." she snapped and rolled her eyes but then shut up, hearing what she was implying.

Sean blinked and looked away too, nervously itching the back of his head and she hid her blush.

Silence.

Sean scoffed, "We've laid down together before. We can both take the bed-"

Emma looked madly at him, "I don't want-"

"**Both** take the bed." he said more sternly and she shut her mouth but didn't protest anymore, but glared down at her hands.

"I need to shower." she suddenly said.

He tensed but nodded.

She raised an eyebrow, "where is it?" she snapped.

He jumped a little but nodded at the bedroom, "Through there."

She nodded, and got up, and he tried not to watch her go but when she passed him, he did.

When he heard the shower go on and the door shut, Sean let the breath he didn't know he was holding escape.

He walked into his bedroom, gazed at the shut bathroom door and then sat on his bed, peeling his hoody off.

Time to switch the ol' wound bandager. He switched his spot to the side of his bed near his night table and pulled the drawer out.

He got out his bandage.

Meanwhile, Emma got out of the shower, she didn't wash her hair, just her body. She always felt, dirty after the ravine. Always took hot boiling showers and she waited til her red skin went back to it's paleness. She stared sadly back at herself in the mirror, she remembered a time she had a nice tan to her skin..

she glanced at the door, wondering what Sean was up to out there and she muttered to herself, "just one night. you can handle him."

It was just Sean, only Sean.. .. .only Sean.


	5. Love, love, love

_**{The cranberries-what's on my mind}**_

_**Baby I would do anything for you  
Nobody's ever treated me quite like you do  
I've wasted too much time  
I've wasted too much time  
And I'm gonna tell you what's on my mind  
Yea yea**_

Emma came out, wearing her black little skirt again and white tank top. He didn't even hear her come out but she noticed him. He sat on his bed, back turned to her and focused hard on his arm

The arm Rick had shot before he shot himself during the struggle.

Emma looked away painfully.

Sean was unwrapping the old bandage off his arm and struggled a bit with holding it up until one gentle hand held his bicep for him.

His head turned and his eyes locked onto Emma's.

She had crawled on the bed and sat on the pillows, as he sat on the edge with his feet on the ground. She looked away from him, but put her hand out.

He was confused, but just for a second until he followed her gaze at the new bandage. He picked it up and glanced hard at it, before slowly giving it to her.

She began to wrap it around his arm. He watched her eyes not leave his arm once, didn't even notice him staring so obviously at her. Was it freaking her out?

She stitched the wrap to a metal part that kept it together and finally looked up at him, dropping her hands from his arm and he slowly let it go down, still staring at her.

Emma looked oddly around. She shouldn't be on this bed. This was **Ellie's** bed. She hadn't even been in this apartment before, Tracker was still with Sean when they were together.

Emma then noticed his hand and looked back up at him, laughing slightly.

He jumped, and she eyed him, noticing him staring but forgot about it as her index finger tapped the top of his hand.

"and what happened here?" she asked.

He looked down at his hand from his shower the other night, just a bit of swelling on knuckles and a bit of bruising, "A wall." he smirked.

He looked back at her to frown, seeing her looking so blankly at him, "You're such a mess." she declared.

He raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly, "You shouldn't talk."

She looked away, and he thought she was mad, but a slow smile crept out. He wished he could stop himself, but it was like his body didn't listen to him.. neither did his heart so so be it.

He turned his body more around to her and crawled onto the bed, and over her, catching her lips into his and passionately kissing her. Shockingly, she let him. He was careful not to crush her, she was so tiny under him. She even wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper and he groaned. She was such a good kisser.

He wasn't awful either.

They tore apart, Emma jumped a bit and shoving Sean away from her once again and he frowned deeply. Why was she so hot and cold?

Granted, he guessed he did hurt her bad before.

Her phone was by his side and she leaned over to grab it for him to glance at the screen and see who it was.

He grabbed her wrist from getting it and swipped it up himself, "He has your _number?"_

"Plenty of guys do." Emma taunted, putting her hand out for him to give it back to her. Jay was calling.

Sean angrily, pressed end.

She gasped and snickered, "Nice." she said sarcastically.

"Wanna see nice?" Sean taunted back, raising an eyebrow and through with the games. His anger boiled up in him and he thought of Jay as he snapped her phone in half.

"SEAN!" she yelled.

Sean rolled his eyes, yea, maybe a bit too dramatic but hey.

She got up, madly, "That's it, I'm leaving." she spat but he grabbed her back on the bed and under him and lifted her chin to look him in the eye.

"If you wannascrew around so **badly**," his breath went unsteady, "Then you can.." he drifted.

Emma looked at him, puzzled, until she felt his other hand slowly smoothing up her thigh and she was on cloud 9 already.

"..With me." he finished, swallowing nervously but taking the chance and they stared almost wide eyed at another.

Why couldn't Emma say no?

She grabbed the back of his head and he leaned down, crashing his lips to hers and she kissed him passionately back.

At least _this guy_ made her feel kinda good.

She moaned, feeling his hand shakingly moving up between her thighs more and she opened her eyes, kind of confused when he couldn't move it anymore

Hasn't he... has he not? ..you know.

"Have you-" her voice cracked a bit, staring up at him.

He shook his head no slowly, and Emma couldn't believe it. Sean was a virgin? Her, not so shocking...but **him**.. I mean, she was just _stunned_

"Do you want to.." she couldn't believe she was saying it either, and her heart was racing.

She just, needed him right now. She'd rather it be him then any mistake of a guy at the ravine, or even school, all those boys sucked too. She was so scared about how lost she'd been that soon she would of even given it to Jay and that'd just be the biggest mistake but she didn't find herself being 'found' soon so why not give it to Sean while she could and while she felt _found_ for the moment.

They could do it, get it over with, it could still be 'beautiful' even if messy and then they could go on like it never happened, right ? They were good at pretending things between them never happened.

Plus she wanted him to bad now. They way he looked at her with those bright blue eyes and she couldn't say she wasn't getting anything out of this, I guess it'd be sweet revenge also to take his virginity as well. She was shocked Sean's _new _girl friend hadn't rushed to grab it, she wondered if she even knew either. Was Ellie a virgin too then?

She snapped out of it when he nodded, quite sternly and she tried not to blush. Course he _wanted _to,he was a guy right?

"I need you to promise though," he says, face cringing

Emma looked at him questionably as his hands shaked when he cupped her face.

"No more Jay. No more ravine."

Emma looked away and muttered, "Can't promise that."

He angered and hurt all over, "_They _don't treat you right_. They won't_."

She shut him up with a kiss, and he sighed in sadness but than in happiness when she clung to him. Her hands shook too, but she knew this part at least, and she slowly undid his jeans.

He shut his eyes tighter, swearing this was a dream and he pulled away to nuzzel her neck and sigh heavily, "Em," he felt it now, her hands taking out his member and he twitched already in her hands, her grip on it.

Oh god.

Emma tried not to shake so hard. Mayb she wasn't ready, but when she saw how good Sean was feeling as he groaned and she began to stroke, she began to like the way she made him feel.

He was panting soon, jerking a little and his forehead down against hers as he let his hands roam hungerily up her shirt and under bra, groping her breasts.

My had they grown up..

Emma gasped in sharply, shutting her eyes and moaned and she opened her eyes, looking up at him and seeing how hungrily he looked down at her.

He suddenly grabbed her hand off him and tore the rest of his jeans down. He kept his eyes on her as she nervously sat up, putting her hair behind her ears but knew what this was leading to. She slowly pulled up her top and his eyes softened, gazing at her hard toned stomach and lacey red bra that held together two perfectly fist full breasts. He throbbed so hard it hurt and Emma saw it as he leaned back over her, and her eyes widened a bit. He was _big_, she knew now it was going to _hurt._

"Sean." She said a bit afraid and tensed all over.

Sean stopped completely, not wanting to scare her nor do anything she didn't want to and looked at her worriedly.

She bit her lower lip a bit and avoided his eyes, but this was the first time _His Emma_ was showing herself, clear as day and he then happily and softly kissed her.

He pulled away when she was breathless and whispered against her lips, "I'll be gentle." his nose pressed gently on hers, eyes both closed until she nodded and he then took off his shirt, he leaned back down to grin at her slight smile and blush to his abs and arms.. always a looker.

His breath went ragged when she leaned up on her elbows, undoing her bra and he stopped her from pulling it off just yet. He swallowed hard, locking eyes with her. Fuck she was so beautiful. How the hell did they get **here**?

He finally threw it to the side and stared down at her like he was in heaven. They were perfect. Emma flushed a bit and rolled her eyes a bit playfully, "Can we get passed this awkward moment?" she teased a bit, smiling a bit.

His smirk grew to a grin as he leaned down and kissed her neck, "But they're so.." he kissed down her chest and her chest began to rise up and down from her nervous breathing, "Pretty.." he kissed right onto her nipple and Emma whimpered a bit. Oddly, that felt good. She moaned when he took it fully into his mouth, sucking a bit

She felt herself getting a little wet too, in her panties, that Sean was now peeling down with his fingers, down her smooth thighs. He pulled away to toss that to the side too, her cute little hot pink panties.

They were **really** doing this.

He stared at her in all her glory.

"Sean, stop." she whined a bit, sick of the staring, and pleadingly put her hands on his hard bare stomach, running her fingers down his abs.

He blinked and snapped out of it, going harder as her fingers trailed down and down. She yelped a little but giggled when he suddenly rolled over and chose to have her ontop, and held her hips. She had _such _lady curves, if they were any more hour glass shaped, he'd go wild.

Her hair tossed to one side, and he caressed it, admiring the blonde. He brushed her bangs to the side for second to get a better view of those dark hazel eyes.

She bit her lip now, she'd never... done this, "I don't know..what to do." she whispered.

She was answered when she felt his hand position himself between her legs and she gave a scared gasp, not ready to take him inside yet, not with **his **size. She wanted to tell him she hadn't seen one that big yet, but it'd probably just boost his ego.

But then Emma moaned when she felt him not enter her just yet, but infact, his fingers slipped into her folds and she whimpered, her nails on his chest, digging into him.

He stared up possesively at her, and felt her wetness and he groaned himself to then slowly slip the finger inside her.

Emma panted, never having let anyone do this to her before. She had guessed Sean had at least done this since so good at it, his fingers had talent but then she yelped a bit when he entered two fingers. One, was tight enough

He cringed a little for her, admitting softly as he leaned up and kissed her head but still slipped his fingers in and out of her, "It's gonna hurt, _Em_."

She nodded,understandingly that and her knees began to tremble a bit. She knew this part, she was going to come soon, wasn't she?

"Sean!" she begged.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and then pulled away and caught her in his arms as she panted and swallowed hard fluttering her eyes open.

He smiled slyly and she tried to glare but she was still seeing stars and laughed a little softly. His heart pounded.

She then locked eyes with him again, and nodded, ready for it and he unsteadily breathed but nodded, just as wanting.

He was already hard as a rock right between her thighs. He knew this was going to hurt and he wanted it to pass as quick as it could. He took hold of her hips and saw her already shutting her eyes and fearing it, so he took a deep breath, and thrusted himself into her fully and she screamed at the sudden seering pain. She was limp, trying to hold herself on him and her teeth clenched, shaking in his arms.

"Shh, you're okay." he whispered to her, carressing her hair again and moved slowly out.

She whimpered and cried a little.

"You're okay." he promised and grit his own teeth. fuck she was so tight, clenching around his cock. He was so scared he'd come right there and not be able to show her it could feel good so tried his all to bare it.

Her body arched back, her hands starting to pull away from his when he grabbed her, knowing she was trying to stop the pain but he held her to him to get use to it and she panted and whimpered until she finally relaxed a bit, getting use to it.

She'd never insist to ANYONE to have a big 'guy' your first FREAKIN time.

Finally she fell forward, her face buried in his chest, tears dripping onto him. She was relaxing though, and he felt her easing to it and even pushing her hips up a little to push back down slowly to get use to it. He groaned, but tried to focus on her, holding her tight and she shut her eyes tight, doing it one more time til a moan escaped her mouth. As painful as it was, his cock was hitting the best spots inside of her.

"Are you okay" he whispered.

She nodded and finally looked up and he pushed her hair behind her little ears as her tears had finally gone away, "It hurt. Bad."

"I know. But it won't hurt again." Sean promised. He tried to hold in his groan, feeling himself inside her slip more in but she saw it and smiled a bit weakly but moved her hips again and he groaned louder and couldn't help himself . He took hold of her hips, and she sat up a bit more, looking back at his hands guiding her hips back and forth, up and down, slowly.

Sean swore he must of been dreaming, watching _Emma Nelson_, his dream girl ironically, **naked**, on top of him, rocking back and forth. He was going to come any minute. She could still look so innocent, even doing this, even after what they've been fighting about all weekend.

She started to quiever over him, telling him she was close too and he leaned up on his elbows, pushing one of her breasts back into his mouth and she wrapped her arms around his neck, loving the feel when he did that and even cried out when he playfully bit it then lifted his head and pulled her head down to kiss him.

Her hand ran down his arms, passing the bullet wound, the bullet wound he had because of her and it made her rock a bit faster.

"Em" he pulled away, grabbing her hips , "_slow._" he warned, knowing her too well and made sure she understood this wasn't _fucking_..this was making love.

She painfully looked back into his eyes, but also lovingly and he couldn't hold it much longer and began to thrust back inside her, and her gasps turned to cries, and her cries into pleas and he finally came hard, dropping his face between her neck and her shoulders, shouting her name and throwing his head back as she began to bow over him and shake, and hair stuck a little to her hot and red cheeks. She came, and shuddered down on him, feeling something shooting into her that only added to the pleasure.

"Ohh EM. ._fuck_." sighed Sean, jerking into her once more and she contracted around him until he fell back, panting heavily and she collapsed on top of him too, head on his chest. She couldn't breath, couldn't think, just wanted to hang onto this feeling.

His hands soothed slowly up and down her bare back, her chest against his and he wanted to hold her beautiful body forever.

He couldn't believe they just did that. He knew it was his first time, but he didn't think he'd feel this way with anyone **but **Emma.

"You okay?" he repeated.

Emma opened her eyes, she had almost passed out right there and joked lightly, "I am now." she was greatful he kept making sure though.

See ? No regrets...just a bit of pain between her thighs. Kay, a lot of pain.

Emma reminded herself of who else lived here. _**Ellie**__. _She'd never felt bad for hooking up with Jay before, and even he had a girlfriend and it wasn't like she was more closer to Ellie than Alex or any means but this was _Sean_.

He had a girlfriend.

"I should go." she went to get up but was grabbed back down against him and then the look Sean gave her said it all.

He didn't want her to go, he actually looked horrified but the thought of it and her mouth hung a bit but she melted back into his arms.

"Just tonight." he said.

She nodded bluntly against his chest, shocked herself they went through with this. Normal Emma would be flipping out by now, but..she wasn't that Emma anymore was she?

She sadly burried herself in him, knowing tomorrow, he'd be Ellie's again . . and she'd be twistingly Jays. He painfully thought about that too, and both of them thought the other didn't want them as much as other did, and it was breaking them apart.  
_**  
Love  
Love  
Love**_

You can't feel me, no  
Like I feel you  
I can't steal you, no  
Like you stole me

And I want you in my life  
And I need you in my life

La la la la  
La la la la

La la la la  
La la la la 

{Pretty reckless-you}


	6. Think Twice Before You Touch My Girl

**EMMA'S DAY...**

Emma walked with her arms crossed, hugging herself, she looked down even more when she saw him at his car, eyeing her down and followed her Degrassi

"Where were you lastnight?" he hissed a bit, throwing his arms out

Emma shut her eyes, "Jay, not now."

Somebody from the side, turned their head and had seen hints of their little 'affair' playing out last week too.

Manny shook her head in disgust standing over with Darcy. Emma was better than Jay, he was scum.

Jay grabbed Emma and looked down at her madly, "Someone said they saw you with another **guy** at the ravine." he sneered.

He looked at _her_ like _he _was betrayed? Emma wanted to laugh. What she doing with Jay? This was crazy.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Sorry am I suppose to wait for only you to be ready and done with your girl friend?" she snapped.

He clenched his jaw, but looked away. He madly shot her one more look til he turned, and stormed back to his civic.

Emma scoffed, and shook her head, mostly at herself though. She cringed a bit as she turned and walked too fast towards the school.. she was still in a bit of pain from the weekend..from _him._

"You're better than this, you're better than what you're doing!" she heard a familiar voice.

She turned to Manny, giving her a look of disbelief. Manny had NO IDEA what was going on in her life!

"Well, it's better than getting pregnant." Emma shot back, wanting to be **done** with this conversation. Manny had it all wrong.,Jay wasn't the 'guy' anymore.

She turned and Manny shook her head, "Why are you trying to hurt me!?"

"Cause you won't leave me alone!" snapped Emma and walked off faster, ignoring the pain in more ways than one.

Manny suddenly cared for her after this whole shooting thing? Manny had picked her side during that stupid fight over Chris with Liberty. She could go to hell for all Emma cared! If Manny could throw away a long enough friendship, so could she!

The orange civic suddenly flew infront of her and stopped. Emma shut her eyes and sighed but opened them when he rolled down his window and nodded for her to get it.

She was getting a pounding headache, and she _did wanna_ leave. She knew it was unlike her, skipping, especially when she'd already been told her grades were slipping but she just wanted to skip _today_. She didn't wanna see **him.**

She nodded back and walked to the other side as he watched her and pushed the door open for her. She got in , and the civic sped off.

**SEANS DAY...**

"Ashleys family is like, so fun to be around." giggled Ellie, walking to school with Sean and holding his hand tightly, "She has two Dads, and they're hilarious."

Sean just nodded, completely zoned out.

"How was your weekend?" she asked.

he snapped out of it, mouth falling and his eyes darted around, "Um." he coughed slightly, "good." they began to walk up the steps and she began talking again as he noticed some kind of...argument? Going on down the stairs.

To be honest, it made him happy seeing how made Jay Hogart looked right now, talking to Emma in the parking lot.

He wished he could hear, he hoped she'd keep her promise and stay away from him and his heart flipped when Jay walked off madly and Emma was rolling her eyes like she didn't care.

Sean wanted to smile.

"Sean!" Ellie clapped.

Sean finally smiled and then focused on Ellie and asked, "What?"

Ellie was a bit thrown back and she smiled slowly back, forgetting he had just completely ignored her.

"I haven't seen you smile since ever.. not like _that_." she said happily, and put her hands on his shoulders.

He looked down and stopped smiling but just nodded. His stomach twisted and so did his face, looking guilty.

She then leaned up and kissed him, caught him totally off guard. He tried to kiss back, not wanting to look so suspicious .. besides, Emma had totally just walked out with so much of a 'goodbye' the next morning when they woke up. He was stuck with El.

"EMMA!"

Sean ripped away, turning his head towards the parking lot to now see Manny Santos yelling at Emma who was walking away from her and Jay's orange civic had come out of nowhere and stopped infront of her

"Sean?" Ellie asked as he let her go and his fists clenched.

He watched Emma get in and his heart was ripping up in shreds, and he hopelessly watched the orange civic speed away. Ellie had just turned, to only see Jay's car speed off.

"What is it?" Ellie asked, putting a hand on his arm. Did he and Jay get in a fight or something?

Sean looked down at the ground, feeling **betrayed. **

_**When all is said and done  
And dead , does he love you  
The way that I do.  
Breathing in lightning  
Tonight's for fighting  
I feel the hurt so physical**_

Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around I'll let you feel the burn  
Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around come around no more  
Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around I'll let you feel the burn  
Think twice before you touch my girl  
Come around no more

{Eve 6-think twice}


	7. Heartbreakers

The next day, Emma was doing a fantastic job as avoiding everyone, even Manny. She walked into the Library, running fingers through her hair and went down the isles until she gasped, being grabbed into one when someone ran by her and pulled her with them

It was a dark isle, yet his eyes could sparkle so brightly still, she stared right into them.

"You promised." Sean breathed against her lips, looking down at her painfully.

Emma was confused, and quite stunned they were actually _here_, **together **again after..well, everything.

She had no idea what he meant, until he eyes flashed a sore and betrayed look and she remembered what he asked of her..

No Jay, no ravine.

"Who cares about what I promised?" Emma sadly snickered, shaking her head at him and said as softly as she could, "You have Ellie, I have my own life now."

He looked hurt, he understood that but, "But you said-"

"Sean! **Stop!" **she begged. She couldn't do this. She thought she could but missing him wasn't supposed to be keeping her lying awake anymore, that was supposed to of stopped a year ago!

His hurt eyes, turned to angry, and he let go of her like she was fire and she almost whimpered.

"Did you do something with him?" his insides began to boil.

Emma looked at him helplessly, fighting her tears.

"Did you!" he didn't even care to raise his voice in the library.

Emma shook her head no. But either way, it shouldn't matter. She tried to walk around him and he grabbed her.

"No, stop!" but he cupped her face and she melted into the kiss until she got her strength back and shoved him off.

she had run out, and he stood there, panting, looking like a scared kitten himself. Emma would always be the only girl who could bring down bad boy Sean Cameron whenever she wanted to..she just didn't know it.

Sean had walked quickly to his 'lunch spot' where Alex and Ellie were. He didn't know why he was still raging with jealousy. Was Emma lying to him?

Alex stood here, so where was Jay ? Was Jay with Emma now?

"Babe, you look really shaken up." Ellie admitted, noticing Sean and his pacing state, unsteady breathing.

He stopped and leaned down, kissing her deeply. She was shocked, but giggled a bit and kissed him back.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Get a room you two." she joked.

"Yeah really." came another voice.

Sean pulled away from a stunned and blushing Ellie, turning his head towards the figure who came over and kissed Alex in a greeting way.

Jay.

"Jeez." joked Ellie, crossing her arms. She didn't know where that came from either. Maybe Ashley was right, this 'space' thing was working wonders.

"Sup Bam Bam?" joked Jay, chuckling a bit but gave Sean a look.

He swore, if looks could kill

Sean snapped himself out of it. He couldn't let Jay know he knows... but by god did he want to. He just grit his teeth and looked away, "Nothin."

Jay just shrugged it off and both guys seemed to notice the blonde who came out of school. Sean cornered his eyes, catching Jay staring too.

Did he even care about her? Or just want in her pants?

"So Alex," Sean seemed to sneer, "You and Jay go any dates lately?"

"Why the curiosity perv?" Alex joked, but Jay cornered his eyes back at Sean.

Now Jay had a feeling he may of been caught staring, and the worst people to catch him had caught him.

Jay squinted his eyes at Sean before putting his arm around Alex, "Well, actually, tonight we do." he smirked at her and nodded at Sean, "You two _lovebirds _wanna tag along?"

Ellie beamed, nodding and throwing her arms around Sean's waist as he clenched his jaw but stiffed a nod too. Damn..he kinda fell into that one.

Him and Jay held a glare, both wondering if the other _knew_.

"Emma!" the blonde heard someone call her on her way to the Dot.

Manny again.

Emma shut her eyes tight, "I can't do this n-" she choked up, "Not right now." she said more sternly.

Manny's mouth dropped and jogged up to her when she saw tears in her eyes, "Em, what's wrong?" she turned her back to her.

Emma's tears poured now and she shook her head frantically, coughing on her cry and couldn't even speak

Manny caressed her hair and pulled her into a hug, "Lets ditch class okay? Lets go to my place, my parents are gone." she promised.

Emma nodded, she had no other choice

Manny cringed, listening to Emma's fears that were overwhelming the blonde as she trembled on the couch.

"Em, you.." she drifted off shaking her head, she couldn't believe it, "You had sex?"

Emma nodded, looking quite scared.

"Well.." Manny drifted, shrugging her shoulder, "Was it _good_?"

Emma cried harder but put her head in her hands as she nodded.

Manny cringed, "Was it with Jay Hogart?"

"No.." Emma cried into her hands, groaning a bit and finally faced the music, sitting up and taking a big deep breath.

"Well that's good!" Manny insisted, smiling a little and Emma laughed sadly, "What can be worst than Jay Hogart?" she smirked.

Emma stared off sadly, feeling her heart break to pieces, "Sean Cameron." she confessed.

Manny's eyes popped out, and her mouth fell.

"**WHAT!?"**


	8. Could Of Lost You Because Of Her

Manny had made Emma some tea, knowing she needed it. But as much as Emma looked a wreck, this was great news to Manny.

Emma had been walking around so numbly, it scared Manny, but now, flying through emotions! She couldn't really blame Sean..

...but seriously?! Her and _Sean_ had _sex?!_

"Sean Cameron?" Manny had to ask again, sitting back on the couch and holding her own tea.

Emma sipped hers, nodding sadly.

Manny looked up, smirking a bit, "god, **you two**, _like a moth to a flame_."

Silence.

Emma had to admit, that was the perfect definition of her relationship with Sean Cameron. He was the fire, and she was the tiny bug he could light up any second he wanted to, then crush anytime he wanted to.

"You guys **really **did it?"

Emma whined, "Mannyyyy." how many times did she have to say it?

"Okay, sorry. Just woah." Manny declared, her eyes still wide and she shook her head. She grinned a little, "Was he good?"

"I don't have much to compare to." Emma muttered, sipping her tea again but couldn't help but remember the 'eruption' Sean got out of her and she blushed madly.

Manny didn't catch it as she was looking at her feet and shrugged, "You don't need to, the guy either sucks or not and you said before he was good." she looked back over, catching the blush now and giggled.

"Can we not?" begged Emma. She thought about it too much as it is.

"you're blushing." Manny smirked then gasped, "Emma! He's with Ellie now!"

"Oh Jeez, really?!" Emma said sarcastically.

Manny cringed, "Yea...guess that's why you were so upset. That's why right?" she asked, eyeing her.

Emma flushed a little, "Well.. no." she admitted.

Manny frowned a bit disappointingly and Emma shrugged helplessly. She couldn't help not feel bad, she hated Ellie now.. she hated that she did, but she did.

"Then why?" Manny had to wonder.

"We didn't...use anything." Emma said, biting her lower lip.

Protection.

Manny eyes widened in horror and she grabbed the cup from Emma's hands and put it on the table. She grabbed the blonde up and Emma even yelped.

"Grab your purse." Manny yelled, "STAT!"

AT THE DRUGSTORE...

"Thank god for this stuff." sighed Manny, grabbing Plan B, "Wish I knew about this back at my time." she joked.

Emma passed her a slight playful glare.

"Nobody wants to go through another pregnancy and I know you don't believe in abortion." Manny said, handing her the Plan B pack, "So before it's too late, _chew on these."_ Manny taunted.

Emma looked down at it, it was something girls took if they didn't take the pill. It did the same thing, killed any eggs if 'hatched'... .. ew, what a gross thing to think. Emma shook her head out of it. It said she only had three days to take it or it wouldn't work. Oh thank god ! Just solid timing.

They bought it, and sweet enough, Manny pretended it was hers as she paid for it for Emma.

They heard giggling, and behind them coming up to the cashier just **had to be** Ashley Kerwin and Ellie.

Emma instantly turned to Manny who tried to keep her eyes glued to the cashier who was putting the money through.

BAG THE DAMN PILLS ALREADY! Manny screamed in her head.

Ashley and Ellie stopped, and shared a look. Great. Them.

Emma kept her back turned, and felt like she wanted to puke.

Ashley ofcourse, **had to** see what the cashier gave back to Manny, "Wow," she said out loud, "Planning another baby?" she couldn't help but taunt.

Manny frooze and so did Emma, flashing a look at Ashley and glanced at Ellie. Ellie had no reason to hate Emma, not knowingly, but she still passed her a slight glare.

Manny swallowed hard, "I-" she looked back to Emma but grabbed the pills. To hell with Ashley Kerwin, "I'm sorry your life is so sex less you have to care about mine." she taunted her.

Ellie's mouth even fell and Ashley gasped and glared, watching Manny grab Emma's hand and run out of there.

Ellie and Ashley shared an unbelievable look.

Sean sat on his couch, staring at the spot Emma had sat in days ago... when he had bent down infront of her, and kissed her wrists, and then-

"Heyyy." sang Ellie ever so sweetly, coming inside and shutting the door behind her.

He sat up, rubbing his sweaty palm on his jeans, "Hey." he greeted, and ran his fingers through his hair frusteratingly.

"You'd never _believe_ what we saw." snickered Ellie shaking her head and walking to the couch.

"What?"

"Manny Santos."

Sean paused and gave her a wierd look. "We see her every day at school."

"No, at the drug store! With Emma." Ellie then shut up, noticing she said _her name_ out loud and she's never done that.

She even saw Sean flinch, but she swore it was just because she reminded him of the shooting or something.

She went on, "She was buying...ugh no, you guess." she laughed a bit, like it'd be a fun game and sat indian style beside him, facing him.

"I don't have time to play games." he hissed.

Her mouth fell but she tried not to take it to heart, " ." she hopped to it as she stood up, "A baby killing pill."

That's what Ashley called it at least. Okay, so Ellie was a virgin even in all oral areas. The furthest she had gone with Sean was make out sessions and letting him grab her boobs. She just, I guess she was waiting for her scars to heal and go away until she felt good enough to really give herself to him.

"W-what?" Sean suddenly stood up and followed her to the kitchen. What the hell was that! He had no idea how this shit worked, "Emma or Manny?"

Ellie awkwardly tossed him a look over her shoulder and opened the door, "Manny." she laughed a bit, "You think Degrassi's most pure and innocent would be buying that ? Having.. _you know_." she joked.

Sean tried not to glare at her. Where did she think she could begin to talk? She was a virgin too.. .well, guess he couldn't say 'too' now that Emma's innocence was gone. . and he had it, forever.

"So Manny was buying it?" Sean had to make sure.

Ellie was taking it the wrong way, well, kinda. She slammed the fridge door closed, "Why? Is it _hurtful_ to think your precious ex is doing the dirty?"

Sean flinched and his eyes widened at her and so did hers. She covered her mouth and he looked down at the ground, mortified.

Did she know?

Ellie stepped closer to him, "Sean I'm so sorry." she quickly said.

He looked at her strangely. She was sorry?

"I just .. " she sighed, this was it. She sat at the kitchen table and gestured for him to sit, but he couldn't move, "I don't know why I'm feeling so hateful towards _Emma Nelson_ so much lately." she looked down and tapped her fingers on the table, "I think I'm upset that I coulda lost you because of her"

Sean shook his head, confused, "Lost me?"

"You could of died!" Ellie yelled at him, getting upset, "You could of been shot because of her! That stupid little-" she choked, beginning to cry and Sean couldn't believe she had thought like this.

He closed his eyes. What was he doing? Maybe he needed to tell Ellie..

She stood up, and walked to him, throwing herself in his arms, "I just don't know what I woulda done if I lost you." she trembled.

Sean froze like them, numbly hugging her back. Well there goes the telling her part. He was afraid it might make her fall back on old habits..and if he asked her to move out, he couldn't make her go back to her moms..it'd ruin her life.

What the hell was he to do?

"It's okay, El." he whispered and she melted in his strong arms. .


	9. The Pretenders

So that was it, Sean had to stick it through with Ellie, and Emma walked past him like nothing had happened between them

It was painful, but as they said before, they were great pretenders.

The school year was almost up, and Sean just didn't want to imagine not being able to see Emma the whole summer. Three whole months. But nobody got what they wanted right?

Never.

"We need a girls night." Manny said happily to both Emma and Liberty, who had begun to be on great terms again too.

Emma smiled softly, opening her locker, "We can hold it at my house I guess?"

"I'll invite Darc and Chantel!" Manny insisted

"Ou, exciting." Liberty said, half in sarcasm and even shared a look to with Emma. The two weren't so close with the other girls

Emma could sometimes handle Darcy though, she wasn't horrible, and if Manny was good friends with her, so could she be.

"It'll be so fun!" squeeled Manny, needing this herself, "Screw boys!"

they blinked, wondering where that came from. She blushed. She hadn't been REALLY hiding her relationship with Spinner before, but lately, he had been expelled for being part of the shooting and she had dumped him. When Jimmy came back a few weeks ago, guess Spinner couldn't hold it anymore, he took Jay down with him

Emma wasn't shocked or anything, and the last car ride she took with Jay more than a month ago, she had told him it was over and she didn't want to do what they were doing anymore.

She guessed Alex found out anyways, least that he was cheating, because Jay had been m.i.a even before he was expelled. I mean, were people REALLY that suprizied he bullied Rick and led him to believe Jimmy pulled that prank? The real shocker was that Rick had actually believed that out of Jay Hogarts mouth.

"Girls night would be good." Agreed Emma, closing her locker and smiled to Liberty and Manny since they had to part ways, "We'll meet up later." she called down to them and turned to walk to class.

She bumped into someone, hard, and they caught her but stared right at her, wide eyed.

Emma looked up, fixing her hair that fell infront of her face and giggled a bit til she stared back. She blushed, and tried to hide it and just smiled weakly now, glancing at the ground.

Sean.

She slowly stepped back, his hands falling off her, and walked slowly around him and tossed one more look back as she began to keep walking and picked up the pace.

She had been actually doing really good, she was getting her color back, smiling more, getting her friends back and as much as she wanted to thank him, she also knew she should keep her distance. The pain was still there, deep down.

He looked over his shoulder sadly, watching her go then went his own way.

Did he know what Jay did? Yup. Made him hate him even more now. Hadn't seen the loser in weeks and he hoped he never did.

Sean stopped and turned, looking back when Emma went but she was gone and he shut his eyes for a moment...that coulda been his chance.

Dammit.


	10. Too Soon

Emma and the girls had rushed back inside her house from trying to have a _nice _relaxing tan session outside.

Emma's neighbor, Chester, had ruined it. Darcy and Chantel seemed to be outraged that Emma didn't warn her the new guy was her neighbor.. Emma thought nothing of it, it was just **Chester**, and his annoying twin brothers.

They had got into a water fight, which was pretty fun, but the boys had totally ruined girls night!

"It's fine, Em." giggled Manny, clearly loving the fact boys had visited, "It's still light out, girls night hasn't even **begun** yet." the girls shared looks and giggles

Emma tilted her head curiously. What'd that mean?

They took the pranks further, and had started throwing tampons on Chesters tree outside his house. Oh god if either their parents found them, there would be hell to pay.

Emma giggled madly with the girls.

They all gasped and screamed when the front door open, and Emma had been grabbed from someone and dragged to the side of the house as the rest of the girls went running and laughing.

"Whose out there?!" came Chesters fathers voice...then came an outraged, "TAMPONS!?" he then slammed his door closed.

Emma tried hard not to laugh and Chester was smiling back at her, a finger on his lips to make her stay quiet.

When coast was clear, Chester was walking her back over to her house, "My brothers were gonna call the cops, but I begged them not to." he let her know.

"You begged?" taunted Emma, not believing it but believed the cop part. Wow, that woulda been embarressing.

"Didn't wanna see you go down to the big house." Chester flirted.

Emma stopped outside her house, sensing the flirting and froze up a bit. . you'd think she'd be good at it, or ready for it. But she wasn't. Sometimes she even forgot she wasn't a virgin anymore, not until she thought or saw **him** around.

"You wanna go get some hot chocolate?" he asked her curiously.

Emma looked down at her hands, going to say no, but hey. Why not.

"Sure." she looked back at her house. It was pretty late, but whatever. Her parents thought she and the girls were asleep anyways.

They had snuck out of her window to go seek revenge on Chester, Chuck and Chad.

"I wonder where the girls ended up." Emma had to admit, he laughed.

He eyed her as they walked. Her hair was getting long, and since so late, she wore what looked as close as it got to pajamas; black short shorts and a long up red plaid shirt. It use to be her Dad's actually. hugged her nicely. She'd usually not go out in the open with short of shorts, but she was sure the Dot wouldn't be packed at all this late, it was probably ready to close.

"To next year!" cheered Ellie, giggling with Craig and Ashley.

Sean sat there rather boredly, and they all sat in the booth. The three were excited for senior year. If Sean didn't fail 6th grade by moving all over the place before Degrassi, maybe he'd be as excited.

They sat at the Dot, and nobody else but an old couple at the corner were there. It was around midnight, and Spinner was working the counter.

Sean noticed the group was ignoring him but honestly, at least Spinner came clean. It wasn't his fault Jimmy was technically shot.. Jimmy did his share of bullying Rick too. And little did they know, it wasn't what made Rick bring a gun to school, it was Emma's rejection that did.

He started to stare off at the sprite in his hands, not being able to focus on the good time this 'double date' was supposedly having.

He had totally missed the door open and Chester and Emma sit down.

Spinner had though, and felt nervous. Emma. She was another person who Rick had almost shot.. he just, he was dying of guilt for months on end and it didn't stop.

"Hey.." he drifted.

Emma looked up from laughing at what Chester said and slowly stopped smiling. Oh right he worked here.

She didn't blame him either, but she sensed the tension.

"Just two hot chocolates." she said and he nodded, turning to go get that.

Chester narrowed his eyes at Emma, "I have to ask.." he says, "Hows a girl like you single?"

Emma bit her lip and shrugged her shoulder. She wished she had an answer...

Meanwhile behind them, Sean recognized that laugh. _Emma_. He looked up, seeing his angel up way past curfew, least for her..

**And she was with some guy**.

His hand tightened around his cup, trying not to break it. Emma was drowning it the plaid shirt she wore, making it look like she wasn't even wearing shorts and he wanted to rip his hoody off and go hide any skin showing off to this _boy._

"Whose that?" luckily, he didn't have to ask, Craig had noticed someone different with her too, "With Emma?" he nodded over.

Sean snapped his eyes off when Ellie looked over and she tensed to Emma's name as well but infact, liked what she saw. Emma and some guy sitting closely, giggling away. The guy was cute, not _her_ type, but cute and seemed to be grabbing Emma's attention .Good.

She slid her hand into Sean's.

"New guy I think." Ellie admitted, "I remember him around Marco and he helped with the dance Paige bailed out on."

"Is he gay?" smirked Craig.

Sean tried to not smirk with him and they even shared a look.

Ashley rolled her eyes, "So not, he had a thing with Manny Santos." she rolled her eyes again, "Obviously. Plus, look at them." she nodded, "Guy can't keep his eyes off her-"

"SEAN!" Ellie squeeled, his sprite finally falling from his hard grip and going _everywhere_.

Emma had looked over now, hearing his name and only seeing the back of him, and she tensed. Did he know she was here? Ellie looked frantic, but was giggling and her heart twisted.

"Can we go?" she whispered to Chester and even grabbed his hand.

He raised his eyebrows, likin that, so did as told.

Spinner turned and stopped in his tracks, holding the hot chocolates. Where'd they go?

Sean had looked over his shoulder as well, bewildered, and watched sadly as the door shut and Emma was gone..

**_I know we _**  
**_ Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself_**  
**_ But, I don't want to see you happier with somebody else_**

**_ Oh, why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_**  
**_ Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_**  
**_ Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?_**  
**_ I know you need someone too_**  
**_ This just feels so soon_**

**_This just feels..so soon_**

**_(marianas trench- so soon)_**


	11. Summer

"Have a great summer!" Mrs Kwan told them all

Sean had been staring at Emma all through class and she could even feel it. She got up and out as soon as she could.

She needed this summer, to herself, away from him. She couldn't stand walking passed him through the halls anymore, holding Ellie's hand.

He punched the frame of the door when she had made it out and away from him and he shut his eyes frustrated

"Sean?" Mrs Kwan spoke up, seeing Sean hit her wall and raised an eyebrow curiously.

He just gritted his teeth and walked out

Meanwhile, Ashley sat down with Ellie at a bench and Ellie cringed, "Can I tell you something?"

Ashley passed her a sheepish look, "When don't you?" she sighed teasingly, "I could burst with all your secrets I have bottled in me."

"add one more to the list." teased Ellie.

Ashley laughed, "What is it?"

"Well you know everything been lookin up a bit.. "she drifts, and points out, "Even with my mom." she had taken notice she was actually going to her AA meeting, it was the only way Ellie would visit her.

"Uh huh.." dragged Ashley.

Ellie blushed, her cheeks matching her hair, "I think it's time... you know, I think I'm ready to.."

Ashley shook her head, still confused until her eyes widened as Ellie pointed up the stairs of Degrassi. Sean had just come out, and was only looking around.

"Oh my god." she leaned closer, "You're ready for sex? With Sean?"

Ellie nodded, giving her a frightened but thrilled look, "He's gonna be my first."

"A-are you absolutely sure?" Ashley asked.

Ellie was a bit taken back, "Course I am.. I live with the guy, I love him."

Ashley looked down but nodded, then bared a small smile. She agreed her mother part was great, Ellie really needed to keep a relationship with her mom. . but the Sean thing ? I don't know, they had gone out on many double dates and even Craig said Sean looked...out of it.

But she wouldn't rain on Ellie's parade.

"When?" she asked.

"Over the summer." Ellie replied.

"Has he done it yet?"

"We all know he didn't when he was with Miss goody two shoes...so that leaves Amy. I don't know, maybe ? He hardly even pressures me or tries to hint he wants to, so maybe not?"

Ashley paused and shrugged, "I couldn't tell you." she admitted. She wasn't sure either, "Ask Alex, maybe she'd know if he did it with Amy."

"God that girls such a slut." Ellie said, wrinkling her nose then sighed, "I wouldn't be too hurt if he wasn't a .. you know, virgin. He's a babe, and such a bad boy right? Girls love him." she smiled though, "but he's alllll miiine."

The girls laughed.

Meanwhile, Emma was walking home with Chester and she kicked the stones in her path as they walked slowly.

"so.." he drifted, "this summer."

Emma nodded, "Yea.."

he laughed, "Emma, I'm trying to ask you what you're up to. Maybe..we can hang out?"

Emma cringed, "Actually Chester, I think I'm gonna go away for the summer. I need it." she sighed honestly.

"Rough year?" he asked.

Emma stared blunlty at him. He didn't know? She decided to keep it that way, "Something like that."

"you can tell me." he suddenly stopped her, and slowly put his hands in hers, watching for her reaction that didn't look so pleased and bit her lower lip. She took her hands back and he cringed but nodded.

He got the hint.

Emma opened her mouth, seeing she had maybe hurt him, "You're a nice guy i just.."

"don't have any feelings for me?" he asked and eyed her, "Not even a little?" he hoped.

Emma grumbled, looking down at her feet. It was really **her** fault.

"Sorry."

he laughed a little, shrugged, "Can't force you, right?" he joked.

She smiled weakly.

"I hope you have fun this summer." he insisted and she smiled sweetly at him, waving slightly as he crossed the street to go to his house.

She turned, and when she went into her house, Manny was beaming, jumping up and down

"What?" Emma laughed a little.

Snake and Spike smiled wide behind her, and threw a duffle bag infront of Emma's feet, "Manny's going with you to Niagara for the summer!"

'Emma's eyes widened, looking at Manny who squeeled and nodded, knowing Emma didn't believe this.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"You deserve it Em." Spike said, bringing her into a hug, "You had a hellofa year."

Snake nodded and put both his hands on each girls' shoulders, "I can trust you guys?" he asked, raising stern eyebrows.

"Yes, yes, yes!" they both squeeled.

Niagara, alone, for 8 weeks! This'll be heaven!

"I can't believe your Dad agreed to this." Emma said to Manny, waiting at the bus station for their bus to Niagara

Manny giggled beside her, "I told him I was going to camp. Like a fat camp or something."

Emma laughed hard, "You're lying!"

"Okay, I said acting camp. He wants me to get it out of my system so 'allowed' it." they giggled some more and Manny sighed, "We need to get away from here for a little Em, this'll be perfect."

Emma nodded, looking down. It will be. This was the space she needed.


	12. No Boys Allowed

**To the reviewer who wants Emma's disorder to still happen! I MIGHT do it, I was just thinking.. I think she did it cause she wasn't over the shooting, and she missed Sean, and she got an STD and then Snake cheated on her mom. But I didn't make the STD happen, and I made Sean stay and help her through the shooting a little, made her talk and feel again. So I feel she won't feel so down right now other than about Sean, but I might do it, you never know !**

Emma Nelson got out of Spike's car with Manny, returning to Degrassi high for a whole new year. Summer was amazing, SHE looked amazing, bangs grown out, hair even longer and blonder, curvier. She was definitely blossoming to the young woman now.

Manny popped out, her long luscious hair now cut to her shoulders but it looked cute, she also got her nose pierced in Niagara with Emma.

"This summer went by too fast" pouted Manny and smiled with her as Emma rolled her eyes and led her inside.

Indeed it did.

When they got in, Manny grabbed Emma from walking any further, "What?" Emma asked, looking around wildly.

"That's the guy from the pool." pointed Manny.

Peter Stone. Emma just nodded, and shrugged. Maybe she would of been interested if she didn't tell herself 'no more guys' this year.

Losing your virginity to your ex while he was with someone else, yet he could still get you out of your darkest place... that did something to a girl

"Go ask him out" Emma told her.

Manny snickered, rolling her eyes, "He had his eyes on you, Em." she told her.

"Not true." Emma began walking over to him and Manny's mouth fell but stuck behind her.

"Em, no, stop!"

"Welcome to Degrassi I'm Emma." smiled the blonde, stepping on the other side of Peter.

The blonde guy, tall and cute, grinned after he looked up, "Hey, I remember you." he put his camera in his hands, down.

Emma looked away from him, looking to Manny and pushed her a little futher, "Yea we were at the pool a lot this summer"

He nodded, gave a small smirk to Manny and looked back at Emma. Manny was hot, but this blonde had something about her, plus she was hot too. He wanted her. She had this aura he wanted to be in.

"You guys should come to my party." he pointed, excitingly.

Emma looked to Manny, and nudged her hard to say something, "We love parties!" Manny exclaimed, and blushed a bit from her stupidity.

Emma wanted Manny to also move on from her past, which equals Craig. He was with Ash, and Sean was with Ellie. If those boys could just rip them out of their hearts, they could do the same.

"Awesome." he laughed a bit, handing Manny a flyer who shared a small smile with him.

He went to hand Emma one, "Oh, I'm good. I might be busy this weekend." Emma admitted, and Manny shot her a look, "Buuuuutt, I'll skip it." she grabbed the flyer.

Peter nodded happily.

Manny squeeled a little, walking away with her, "When did you become such a good wing man!?" she nudged her hip into Emma's playfully.

Emma giggled a bit and walked with her to her locker, "Ever since I realised you've had a hellish two years to and need to pick your life back up." she shook Manny by her shoulders

Manny groaned but nodded, "don't I know it." the bell rang and she gasped, "WE have first together right?"

"Uh huh" Emma closed her locker, and they began to walk to class.

"Where's that Chester guy?"

"Think he switched schools."

The girls giggled a little. Some people just COMPLETELY disappeared from Degrassi.

When the girls sat for class, Snake was going through the list, and when he called out Sean's name, Emma wished her stomach didn't turn and flip.

God, she thought she got over this this summer. Well, guess seeing him again no matter what would be still nerve wrecking

She looked around though, hearing no 'here'. Where was Sean?

Snake shrugged and wrote him absent.

Manny caught Emma's gaze around and they locked eyes, she raised her eyebrow at her. Emma said there would be NO BOYS and especially NO Sean Cameron this year.

But honestly, why have to try when he didn't seem to be around? Where was he.. first day of school was important . . oh gee, she really was back to the old Emma.


	13. Can't Catch A Break

"How was Peter's party?" Emma said, coming up from behind Manny and the brunette jumped, "Woah," teased Emma, "You okay?"

Manny turned from her locker, looking completely weary and paranoid and hurt.

"Manny.." Emma drifted, she hadn't ever seen her look like this.

Manny's eyes teared up and grabbed Emma's hand, rushing to the washroom with her and looked .

She bursted into tears, "It's Peter." she threw her arms around Emma for comfort, "He-he taped me, I-" she was choking on her tears, that Emma could barely hear her.

Crap, she should of gone to the party, but she just wasn't feeling it. What happened? Did Peter reject her or something? MAnny was gorgeous! Was he nuts?!

"He's going to show everyone." Manny pulled away, snuffling and trying to wipe her tears.

"Show everyone what?" Emma tilted her head. It'd been ONE WEEK! What had Manny gotten herself into.

Manny crossed her arms, hugging herself, "I was drunk... stupid," she shook her head and closed her eyes, "I lifted my top."

Emma shut her eyes, sighing, and hugged Manny. Crap. This wasn't good.

Meanwhile..

"I tried calling him." Ellie told Marco and shrugged, shaking her head frantically, "No answer"

"That's rough." cringed Marco.

Behind them, the girls came out of the bathroom.

"I just wanna know if he's coming home or not." Ellie said, looking down so upset and Marco hugged her

Manny felt Emma pause a little, and overheard that too.

Was Ellie talking about Sean?

Emma was starting to worry a little, she couldn't help but to do that. He hadn't been in class all week. . .where was he?

"Come on." whispered Manny, taking her hand and they walked down the hall for all the screens to go on.

"_I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS! I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS!"_

Emma stared up with wide eyes in horror at Degrassi's televisions, all playing out a little recording Manny had just told her about from Peter.

That little scum bag!

Manny was cold as ice, numbly looking at the video replay over and over, her drunk self from the weekend, undoing her top for Peter.

Emma winced when someone had walked by and known it was Manny, as others were still staring at the screen.

"Nice tits Manuala"

Manny shut her eyes tight, tears running down her cheeks and Emma grabbed her arm, "Lets go." she pulled her to the exit

"Sluttt" said a student passing.

Manny was going to faint, and the only thing that kept her going was Emma's feet still moving and dragging her out of Degrassi, but even outside, her cheerleader 'friends' playfully pretended to lift their shirts at her.

"They're just shallow little-"

"Emma. Just stop." cried Manny, and yanked her arm from the blonde.

Emma's mouth dropped, watching Manny begin to run home, alone, in tears.

She turned and glared over her shoulder at the cheerleaders, Darcy more directly. So much for being a friend.

Darcy just gave her a look back and rolled her eyes, turning.

That's when Emma saw Peter at one of the sitting benches outside and she stormed over to him. He was eating a sandwich and Emma grabbed it, dumping it on his head.

"You think that was funny!?" exclaimed Emma.

Peter's angrily stood up, letting the lettuce, and tomatoes fall off his head and shoulders, "What the hell!" he looked up and paused. Emma.

Emma had fire in her eyes, glaring hatefully at him "That's what you do to girls who _like _you? Who are as beautiful as Manny?!"

"She was asking for it." he rolled his eyes.

"How?!" Emma exclaimed and shook her head, "You're nothing but a scumbag."

His mouth fell, not wanting _her _to hate him and grabbed her arm, "Why can't you just admit your friend is a slut. This is nothing about you."

Emma looked down at his hand not letting go of her arm and then saw a cup of coffee by his lunch, and decided to pour that on his head too.

People looked over, gasping then laughing, pointing at Peter.

Peter let her go to cringe and try to whipe the hot coffee off, "You'll regret that!" he yelled after her

She tossed a look of daggers at him before going back inside Degrassi.

"JEeze." Snake said, sitting at his desk infront of the computer but trying to sheild his eyes. Emma was showing him the gossip he heard all day.

Emma nodded, rolling her eyes, "He's a snake."

"I can't really see his face though, Em." admitted Snake. They were trying to get Peter expelled for this and he added with sigh, "He's also the new principles son."

Emma scoffed, "Ofcourse!" she angered.

Snake smiled a little, watching her pace back and forth, worrying about this until she turned and saw him smiling.

"Snake! This is serious!"

"Y-yes it is." he agreed, whiping the smile off but had to admit, "It's just...I haven't seen you so ..passionate about something in awhile."

Emma paused and smiled weakly. That was true. She then looked down at her hands.. maybe Snake would know where Sean was and if he was returning to Degrassi.

"Dad-"

"Snake?" Mrs H stood at the door and Emma stopped talking, narrowing her eyes. Great interruption from the Snakes mother herself.

Though.. she did look horrified, maybe she knew it was Peter too.

"Come on in." he sighed and looked to Emma, "Em, please. Adults need to talk."

Emma gave him an annoyed look and he chuckled, watching her go.

The day was over, and Emma was at her locker. She wanted to find out what they'd do to Peter but seems he only got a slap on the wrist. Cafeteria work, grounded, camera taken away. Such bull!

She put her book in her bag and slowly stopped, glancing down the hall where she knew _his_ locker always was.

_Don't say was, you don't know if he's not comin back_.

Emma slowly closed her locker, and sadly left the school. When she got home, she noticed someone at her doorstep.

"Manny?"

Manny turned, tears in her eyes. This girl couldn't catch a break.

"They kicked me out." she had bags all around her feet.

Guess there was another plus one in the Nelson/Simpson household. Now the Nelson/Simpson/Santos.


	14. This Betrayl

It's been two weeks now since school started, Emma was starting to lose hope, and it was beginning to drag her down.

"You don't look so good." admitted Manny, sitting down next to her.

Emma snapped out of it and took a deep breath, "Just this test coming up is all." she lied.

Manny gave her a knowing look but shrugged it off, "Can you let your mom know I'll be home after cheerleading practice?"

Manny had been living with them now, and it was going great. They were like sisters!

"Just let Snake know, I also have environmental club meeting after school." she smiled a little.

Meanwhile in 12th grade..

"I can't believe she just left." Craig stared numbly at the computer

He was talking to Jimmy but next to him, Ellie muttered, "Yeah, I know how you feel."

Craig eyed her and angered, "How would you know?" he snapped. Ashley was **gone,** sent him a goodbye letter and everything, "She was only your friend, me and her. .we-we were in love!"

"Love smhove." Ellie snickered bitterly and stood up, grabbing her jacket, "Also, I **do **know what it feels like for your 'love' to just pick up and leave." she snapped and shoved by him.

"Jerk!"

Craig winced a bit then blinked, looking to Jimmy who cringed, "Sean's been M.i.a, dude. Low." he told Craig.

Craig's mouth dropped, "Well I didn't know" he hissed then saddened, and looked back to his 'goodbye' letter from Ashley.

Ellie was right, love smhove, it was all a load of crock!

AFTER SCHOOL...

"Seriously so good to have you back, Em." Liberty told Emma, walking out of the club meeting, "It was hard juggling that, my mathematics and.." she drifted off.

"And what?" Emma asked, eyeing her wierdly and noticing Liberty Van Zandt choked on words.

Liberty watched people pass them and the halls started to clear and whispered, "Me and J.t..had an accident." she pierced her lips together.

Emma was confused, til her eyes widened, "You're not.." no, Liberty was too smart for that.

"I wouldn't of been if J.T didn't insist he could wear the extra large condom." sneered Liberty to then shake her head, "But it's too late to think of what ifs... it's happening, its.." she tapped her stomach, "in there."

Emma stared in horror. Was she the only one avoiding the drama these days?! I mean, go her, but geez. Liberty was **Pregnent?!**

"Does everyone know?" Emma asked.

"Just the usual victims." joked Liberty lightly, "Toby, Manny, my brother, now you."

"Lib.." she was choked up as well, not knowing what to say but she insisted, "You'll be fine, it's you we're talking about here." she smiled gently.

Liberty gave her a not so sure look but smiled a bit back, "Later Emma." she said, and turned, needing to go be alone.

Emmas eyes were still wide, turning down the empty hallway, shocked beyond belief still.

She shook her head, trying to snap out of it and when she turned the corner, she stopped when she saw Marco and Ellie talking.

"Just talk to Mrs Suave." Marco told her.

"I can't, Marco." Ellie was crying, "She'll think I'm at risk again and it's not like that. I just have this horrible feeling he's **not** coming back. He's left me, Marco. A-and Ash is gone too.."

"Sean **will** call and Ash will too, you KNOW that."

Emma's eyes widened and her heart stopped. So Sean was gone? Oh god, he was gone. She numbly turned, and stopped in her tracks hard.

"Emma!"

Oh my god. They saw her. She turned. Oh crap, Ellie Nash was storming right up to her. She looked around panicked until Ellie spoke up.

"h-have you heard from or about Sean lately?" she asked.

Emma's mouth hung

Ellie closed her eyes, "It was a stupid question," yet she still looked at her with hope, "But have you?"

Emma shook her head no, "Sorry, Ellie...no." this was probably the only time Ellie had directly looked at her and spoke to her.

Ellie squinted her eyes at Emma, not believing her but then she sighed, she was probably just pushing her problems onto Emma.

Course she hadn't seen him, the two haven't talked since they broke up right?

"Oh Marco" Ellie began to cry again as the boy walked up from behind and hugged her.

Emma looked at him and Marco passed her a look and smiled weakly. Emma just numbly turned and walked back the way she came.

_He couldn't be __**gone**__._

_he couldn't._

Emma turned the corner, bumping hard into somebody and she looked forward, her heart fluttering like mad. Her first love, her first _first_, and the one and only (With longer hair) Sean Cameron.

Speak of the devil.

"Sean."

He stared right back at her too, mouth gaping. What were the chances he stopped by Degrassi after school was out and she was here?

Geez he looked...like a man. Summer did him good. He lost the beanie and the hoody, only showing off his newest biceps through his white wife beater. His hair was finger length, curling slightly. .she loved it.

Emma then remembered Ellie around the corner and could still hear her crying as she quickly backed from him just as he opened his mouth to speak and put a hand on her arm.

She shot back like fire though and his face twisted up painfully and confused until he saw Ellie storm around the corner and stopped in her tracks, locking eyes with him.

His mouth fell and he tried to tell Emma to stay, but how could that look, Ellie looked ready to kill him. He'd been missing for weeks.

Sean saw Emma walk around him quickly, walking as fast as she could away and he wanted to run after her, but Ellies harsh glare on him had him stuck.

Ellie did see the wierd fact that Emma had bumped into first, and that Sean looked... .different, not only physically, but the way he looked at Emma was different. She ignored it for now though, "How could you do this to me!?" Ellie yelled at him, storming over and shoved him.

"Ellie." he started.

"No, don't! I speak now." she snapped. Marco stood behind and awkwardly turned, leaving them too it. "How was Mommy and Daddy?" she sneered.

"Ellie I told you I had to go.." he said quietly.

Ellie's nose was red, her eyes puffy, "You didn't say you'd be _gone_ that long, Sean! I tried to understand you wanting to go home this summer but when school started, and you didn't come back, and I had to pay last rent myself-"

"I know, that was real shitty." he said, closing his eyes..

"and.." she choked up, "I **gave **myself to you, Sean. How do you think that made me feel? You just packed your bags the next night and left?"

Around the corner, Emma leaned on the wall, and listened and a tear slipped from her eye.

They had sex. Ellie was talking about giving herself to Sean like _she had_, wasn't she?

She felt the world crushing around her, her thoughts laughing at her for being so stupid, her heart feeling the familiar break. Sean was just no good for her.

Emma leaned off the wall and finally ran to the exit doors, tears blinding her vision.

Sean, meanwhile, put his head down infront of Ellie, "I can't take that back, I know." he said, and locked eyes with her, "But I am _sorry_. Home is just what I needed.."

"don't you ever think about what **I needed**, Sean!?" Ellie shut her eyes tight, remembering the painful night she gave herself to Sean...

_Ellie sat in bed, sheets covered around her as her eyes were puffy, and she stared at Sean's retreated back. He sat at the end of his bed, in boxers, head in his hands._

_"Sean.." she whispered._

_It had hurt. Just as she expected. But she had cried to much from the pain, and she didn't know if she just ruined the mood, or Sean was too scared to keep going, but he had got off her, and here they were.. they've been sitting here almost an hour._

_Sean slowly looked up, a numb look in his eyes and turned his head only slightly, not being able to look at her. _

_It'd been just a few weeks into summer. Sean felt lost, and lonely, even though he shouldn't of because he lived with someone, he was with someone. Yet he did. And every day he wondered what the hell Emma was doing and where she was. It was driving him fucking crazy and he tried to keep living his lie with Ellie and even let them come to this when she had whispered she wanted to but.. it didn't feel right, it didn't feel good._

_They were both at a party, they'd both been drinking a bit and maybe the emptiness got more painful when Sean got drunk. It wasn't like the time with Emma though, it wasn't perfect, and Ellie didn't fit into his arms perfectly either.. and when she cried, she didn't just shed a tear like Emma had, she balled her eyes out and it made his stomach turn. He tried to sooth her, like he could do Emma, but it just wasn't working. He couldn't do this.. as much as she insisted she wanted to and was ready now. _

_"We can try again." Ellie said, leaning up with the blanket around her and leaned her head down, kissing his shoulder and let her fingers play in his ever growing hair._

_He just nodded, looking down again. But then the next day, when Ellie came home from hanging out with Marco since Ash had been in London all summer, Sean was packing._

_"What's going on?" her voice cracked, putting her bag down._

_Sean was shoving clothes into his duffle bag and he stopped when he heard her at his bedroom door and his shoulders fell, "I just..need to go home for a bit, El"_

_"__**This**__ is your home, Sean." she declared, shaking her head._

_He turned to her, softening, "I need to go back, Ellie. I need to fix things inside of me that feel.." he stared off sadly, "Broken." _

_"And you think it's just your relationship with your parents?" Ellie asked, walking up to him and cupped his face, "I can go with you."_

_He looked away, lowering her hands off of him, "need to do it alone. I'll be back, promise." he looked around and back at her, "Stay here, okay?" _

_She nodded, painfully watching him go back to his bags and zip it up, "did I...did I do anything wrong?" _

_"No." he said sternly, turning and shaking his head and he looked like he meant it so she nodded, "I'll call you when I get there okay?" he asked, stepping in front of her._

_She leaned up, and kissed him..least this time, he kinda slightly kissed back, "Okay." she whispered. She had no idea where his parents were, or what they were like or why even Sean left so maybe he did need to do this, even though she didn't want him to._

_"Bye." was all Sean said, and then, he was gone._

_She never got a call, not even a letter, nobody knew where Sean was. She tried to find Jay, but guess they hadn't talked in months, and then..well, you know the rest._

"That night with us," Sean told Ellie, snapping her out of the memory, "it wasn't you, it was me." he said.

Ellie shook her head at him confused.

"I'm not the guy for you, El." he whispered.

Ellie looked _crushed_, "But.." she began to breath unsteadily, "But you said you love me."

He looked at her, an unreadable look but she could see the _pity_ in his eyes. She thought this over a lot...he only **said** it, he never looked it, nor did it **feel** like it.

"How could I be so stupid?" she said out loud, looking numbly down.

Sean shut his eyes, hating to do this to her, "You can keep the apartment Ellie, I found a new place-"

"With what money Sean!" she yelled with tears in her eyes, "You broke my heart and now you're breaking my home."

Sean stared down but whispered, "That was never your home Ellie."

She backed up a bit, a little hurt he said that, "what?" she snickered bitterly, "What you want me to go back to my _mother_ or something?" she kept the fact out that her mother had been sober for months, and even got a good job going and their visits **had **been going really well. She just wanted Sean to know he was s_cum_, and that she _hated him _right now. How could he do this to her? To them?!

Sean looked at her with sorrow, "Ellie, I went to see her today."

Ellie backed up, wide eyed.

"If you don't wanna go home, thats fine." Sean insisted, "But," he swallowed nervously, "She looked _good_. I wanted to make sure you'd be okay after we had this.."

"This break up? This betrayl?" she snapped.

He stared off, but nodded.

"So what? Are you leaving Degrassi for good?" she asked him, a bit curious.

He shrugged his shoulders slowly, "I don't know right now."

"Did you _ever_ love me?" she shook her head though when he opened his mouth. She couldn't hear him say it, it hurt already just knowing it. He didn't need to say it, "Was.." she drifted off then looked him in the eyes, "Is there another girl?"


	15. It's Over

"Is there another girl?" Ellie felt a little silly asking, but had to know, she had thought of it, but wouldn't believe it..but now that everything was out in the open, why not right?

He kept staring down, and she did see a tear drop from his eye.

She lunged at him, punching his chest as he tried to grab her wrists, "Ellie, Ellie, stop!"

"You bastard! You fucking! Bastard!" she ripped from him, "don't touch me!" she cried, and shook her head as she stared at him, disgusted.

He looked guilty, and horrible, and sorry, but it didn't matter, she wanted him to burn in hell.

"Who!? Do I know her?" Ellie shouted, "Tell me!"

He flinched a bit and looked her in the eyes, shaking his head no.

Her mouth fell, "You don't think you _owe me that_?" she looked at him in disbelief.

"It wouldn't change anything." Sean whispered, "I'm bad." he looked down, "I'm no good for you." he looked back up, "We're not meant to be, Ellie."

Her voice cracked a little, "I just wish somebody would of told me that."

He nodded, in pain too. He didn't wanna hurt her like this, but he just.. he wasn't in love with her.

"Was it a girl in Wasaga?" she tried to guess

"Ellie." he sternly looked in her eyes then grabbed something out of his pocket, "It's over." he handed her his key to their apartment, "I'll get Spin or Jay to come get my things."

Jay? Since when were they friends again?

Ellie couldn't believe this and watched him begin to walk away. He turned back to her, "You'll find someone better than me." he promised, and kept walking away.

She leaned on one of the lockers, and when he turned the corner, she slid down them. She tried into her hands, and looked where he left and closed her eyes.

It was over.


	16. My Demons

When Sean had went to Wasaga...lets just say he bumped into a 'friend' on his way out.

He had stopped at the Dot to grab a meal before his trip, and he sat at the counter with his train ticket on the table beside his food that he didn't eat, but just stared at.

"Cameron?"

Only one person called him by that name. As angry as Sean still was at him, he was also _exhausted_. Other than that, it was also almost midnight.

Jay Hogart had entered from the dark night and walked in, sharing a look with Spinner who was washing some dishes.

"You going somewhere?" Jay asked, picking up his Wasaga ticket until Sean yanked them from his hand and glared viciously at him.

"Don't you get it?" Sean sneered, looking Jay up and down, "I **hate** you. It's taking my **everything** not to knock your sorry ass to the ground.

"For the shooting thing?" Jay asked so calmy, yet did have a bit of guilt in his eyes, but also seemed to eye Sean when Sean looked away.

Maybe that wasn't the reason why...

"Or for the Emma thing?" Jay asked, brave enough to say it.

Sean's eyes snapped to him, his mouth hanging a bit and he tried to glare and stood up. Jay stepped back, putting his hands up.

"Look man, I'm sorry for the whole thing." Jay looked at him, meaning it, "Please, let me say my peace then go ahead and beat the shit out of me for touching your **ex girlfriend**."

Sean looked away, guilty himself, but kept his fists down at his sides.

Jay scoffed, looking away, "I was a shit head." he looked down, "I didn't think you knew but you had to of, the way you stopped talking to me, the hints you dropped around Alex. I was a moron for not noticing."

"Save it." Sean growled and grabbed his bag, "I don't wanna hear it."

"You _runnin_ somewhere?"

Sean stopped and turned, storming over to Jay, "I'm not running from anything." he shoved his chest, sending Jay back into a table behind him hard.

"Hey!" Spinner pleaded from the counter, "Please no fighting."

"Lets take it outside then." Sean declared, glaring at Jay, pointing at the door.

"I'm just gonna let you beat my ass." muttered Jay honestly, shrugging and standing back up again

Sean glared harder, "Let me?" he repeated.

Jay rolled his eyes "I deserve it, I get it! Alright!? I took advantage of Emma!.. I even said my peace with her. I'm a loser! Can't you fucking see I get it!? I GET IT!" Jay's voice began to raise, "I lost my girlfriend, my friends, **my school**, my future! What's one fucking beating gonna do?" Jay walked to Sean and pointed at his face, "Go ahead, Cam, hit me!"

Sean gritted his teeth, and he wanted to, but this was all very confusing to him. He'd never seen Jay like this, nor admitting to his mistakes. His eyes would probably pop out if Jay even apologised.

Jay stood there, panting a bit from his outburst and eyes even closed, waiting for a punch. But it didn't come, he opened his eyes, staring at Sean who was panting as well from trying to keep himself together.

Jay looked down and his shoulders fell. He always respected Sean, little jealous of him to be honest. It **sucked **they weren't friends anymore. He didn't blame him though, he really was a scumbag.

"I'm sorry.." breaths Jay, honestly.

Sean's shoulders fell too. Fuck. Jay meant it. This wasn't fair. In the right kind of world, he'd beat Jay to a bloody pulp yet here he was, accepting his apology.. he didn't think he'd live to see the day.

He looked at the clock, and let the exhaustion wash over him again, "I gotta go." he sighed, turning and both Spin and Jay shared a look.

"Sean," Spinner called and shook his head, "Where you going?"

"Anywhere but here." muttered Sean, opening the door and leaving. He was dragging his feet toward the train station, when that bright orange civic came driving up along the side of him.

He narrowed his eyes, seeing Jay driving slow to keep up with him and his window down, "Get in." Jay calmly said.

Sean stopped, and didn't know why, but he nodded and did. He got in.

The car parked where the train was coming and as they waited, they sat in silence.

"Ellie know you're going?" Jay asked him, narrowing his eyes to see if those two were even still _together._ He hadn't seen them in a while.

Sean nodded, staring ahead

Jay couldn't help but notice he looked like utter _shit_. He licked his lips nervously, "Emma know your going?"

Sean's head fell, looking down at his hands in his laps. He shook his head no, "She's.. somewhere. I don't even know." he snickered, "But I haven't seen her around."

Jay nodded slowly, and tapped his fingers on his steering wheel, "are you guys.. like, talking again? Does Nash know?"

"No." Sean replied. He couldn't believe he was talking to _Jay_ about this. He couldn't help but admit though Jay was good to have on your side, deep down a somewhat decent guy, if he was your friend. "Me and Emma.." Sean's face twisted in pain, "Have been more than talking."

Jay raised his eyebrows, a bit impressed and slapped Sean's chest, "Well man, congrats. Isn't this what you always wanted? Back in your old lovers life?"

Sean glared over at him, "It's not like that, **Jackass**."

"Mm." nodded Jay, "I get it. The whole Ellie thing, her living with her.. her always.." he ran his finger on his wrist and Sean rolled his eyes.

"You're such a fucking moron."

Jay laughed though, and Sean tried not to smile, shaking his head. Fucking classic Jay Hogart.

Sean stared off again and finally confessed, "I slept with Emma."

Dead silence.

Jay's mouth dropped, and Sean was a little stunned to see him this shocked.

"you mean... Emma slept _with you_." joked Jay, shaking his head in disbelief.

Sean eyed him weirdly, "Didn't you and.." he drifted off, not wanting to finish that sentence, pain coursing through him, but Jay understood what he meant.

"No man." Jay answered, "I uh, got more than her if you know what I mean."

**Sean did know what he meant, just didn't want to. .**

He seemed confused though. "she never.."

Jay rubbed his jaw, shrugging with a wierd face, "She didn't like me touching her or...something." he admitted.

Sean saw him, slightly hurt. Did...wow, did Jay really like Emma?

Jay was staring down, "She was pretty messed up." he looked up at Sean, "I know what you mean now when you say she kinda just.. makes you care. Her virtue, or whatever. I did kinda _like_ her." he flinched a bit, waiting for Sean to hit him, but he did nothing.

He understood, Emma was a hard girl not to fall for.

"I mean, I didn't love her or anything, I just felt... a good vibe, a connection." Jay told him, "she's a good girl." he narrowed his eyes to Sean, "She's **your** girl."

"Not anymore." Sean sighed, and heard a train coming, "Time I go and try to move on."

"You're not leavin forever are you?" Jay asked and then snickered when Sean didn't reply, "I thought I was the wuss."

Sean shot daggers at him.

He rolled his eyes, "Well fuck, Cam. You want the girl? Go fucking take her. She'd have you, happily. You fucked up, she'll get that. How many times did she take back your sorry ass before anyways?" he snickered, "And if she gave you her V-card, doesn't that tell you anything?"

"What can I give her? Huh Jay!?" yelled Sean, eyes darting around, "I'm a welfare loser, parent-less, failure.. piece of shit-"

"**Her **piece of shit." joked Jay and shrugged, "You know what I would do to get Alex back? Everything. But it's over. You still got a chance and you're fucking it up! It's gonna suck for Ellie but if you love Emma-"

The train was getting louder, and beginning to pull up and Sean had to get out, g_et out of that car, _**get out of this city.**

"SEAN!" shouted Jay, getting out of the car too when Sean had stormed out and was heading to the loud thudding train, "If you don't come back, then you **don't** deserve her, and you'll _never_ change!"

Sean stopped, and numbly watched the train come to a halt, and he climbed aboard.

'_if you don't come back...'- Jay's voice haunted him_

_'I'm not leavin' Sean once told Emma. 'But you're so good at it' she sneered back. _

_'you don't deserve her'- Jay's voice in his head again_

Memories clouded Sean's head of making love to Emma, her innocence glowing off her and her moans escaping her mouth, dancing in Sean's ears.

_'if you love Emma..'- Jays voice._

Sean pictured him and Emma on their first date, ever, going through garbage for her. When she helped him study for tests. When they had their first break up. When he dropped by her mothers wedding and they had their first real kiss. The times he snuck into her window. When they broke up again. When he'd always watch her from afar when with Ellie. When he saved her life. When he got in a fight with her at the ravine. When he kissed her at the ravine. When she helped bandage his old wound up, and when the finally made love and when they had to pretend nothing happened. Then when he grabbed her inside the library, feeling betrayed that she had gone with _Jay_ when she promised him she wouldn't.

Jesus. They'd gone through so much and that still wasn't even half of it and he STILL wasn't over her.

He did.

He was downright in love with her. Emma Nelson had a hold on his heat and no other girl would ever possibly get a hold of it. Nobody would be able to replace her.

_'you'll never change!' Jays words again haunted his head._

Reality slipped back into Sean. . it was never Emma that needed _him_, maybe only slightly,but it was **him **who needed **her**...

This whole time he thought it was about finally getting to help Emma, but he had already saved her, it was her that was helping him. He couldn't be this guy anymore. He didn't wanna be a coward, but now, more than anything, he knew it was right in going back to Wasaga.

He needed to do a few more things before he returned.

Sean shut his eyes, and the train was headed to Wasaga, and he tried to push the painful memories to stay behind in Degrassi.

_**Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I wanna save that light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how**_

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide

(Demons-imagine dragons)

**I'm stopping here guys. No reviews and that sucks when I put effort in. It's why I stop so many stories. I think I'm almost done with writing fics... so for the readers but you should be reviewing if you want me to continue! I don't get paid to do this aha. I'd atleast like some views back and seeing if there is even anybody reading...anyways, yup. Another unfinished fic (thumbs up)**


	17. I Love Her

So now that Sean was back, and did what he needed in Wasaga, and finally finished things with Ellie. . .he stood on the porch of Emma Nelsons house.

He was antsy, his palms sweaty but cold (Was that possible?). He ran a frustered hand through his dark hair and his thick shaped eyebrows furrowed.

He finally pushed his feet forward and rang the door bell

Oh fuck oh shit, oh fuck!

"What do I even say?" he whispered harshly to himself, cursing that he didn't practice anything.

The door opened, and someone Sean didn't expect opened the door, Manny. She had shorter hair, but same ol face and deer like features as she recognized him. Yea, this **would **come as a shock.

She then looked a bit angry and suspicious, crossing her arms.

He swallowed hard. Jesus the petite girl could be so intimidating when she wanted to be, "Manny.." he drifts and looks past her through the door way.

She seemed to understand right there what he wanted, and closed the door a little behind her and scowled him. He blinked, a bit taken back and looked down guilty like.

"What are you doing here, Sean?" she asked him. She liked him, she did, but not when he was breaking Emma's heart over and over. She had been such team Semma, and even helped Sean get Emma back once..and the idiot just KEPT screwing up.

"I.." he drifted off.

Manny noticed him quite nervous and shaken up. She was only slightly shocked, but wasn't too suprizing, she knew Emma and Sean and knew them even better when they were together... he was always a nervous wreck when it came to Emma. Nobody would probably believe her because this was big bad Sean, but he did, Emma made him nervous.

He finally straightened up and looked stern, "I need to talk to Emma."

She leaned on the doorway almost tauntingly, "I need to repaint my nails," she looked at her old manicured nails.

Sean gave her an annoyed look, he knew it wasn't going to be easy but he didn't know his first challenge was just getting **past** the door.

"Do.." Sean looked confused, "Do you live here now?"

Manny sighed, "Lets not get into it, but yeah." she nodded.

He was so confused but 'oh'd and nodded, "Right..." he snapped out of it, "Manny," he looked helplessly at her, "I **have** to talk to her."

He saw her eyes soften, and she looked like she pitied him and was about to let him enter, but then her Santos sassy-ness flashed back into her eyes.

"And why should I let you?" she taunted him madly, throwing her arm out, "I've seen you like this, more than once. You always make me believe you're changed and I hop back on the Semma train and then it just slaps me right in the face when you prove yourself over and over."

He nodded, completely understanding that and stepped forward, "I've changed."

Manny eyed him suspiciously, and sized him up, "Yea, _maybe_ you lost your little 'gangster' look and decided to try a new look," She pointed at to his hair and stepped forward while putting her hands on her hips, "But I don't see _anything_ else that's changed." she sneered and finally went to turn to walk back into the house-

"I love her, Manny."

Manny stopped, but didn't turn. Her arms went back to crossing over her chest.

Sean painfully looked down at his hands and clenched them, "I can't stop." he looked into her eyes hopelessly when she finally turned, "I know what you mean, that I **was** a jerk. I took Emma for granted before cause in the back of my mind I felt like I didn't deserve her, I always blamed her for making me feel that way, but it was my own insecurities. I intentionally hurt her over and over cause I thought, hey why not? I fuck everything up in the end anyways right ? She'd find someone better anyways..leave me in the dust!"

Manny softened, seeing Sean's eyes watering up and he was actually struggling his emotions.

"Sean."

He looked startled, like he forgot she was there and her heart felt for him. He **had** changed. He **did **_need_ this chance with Emma.

He looked away sadly, "I won't find anyone like _her_ ever again. If I don't get one last chance, I'm screwed for life. I'll probably go down that path every single person who knows me thought I would_.. .failure_, criminal, hell! Drugs? Alcohol.." he drifted off and snickered bitterly, "Girls like Emma aren't suppose to even _glance_ my way. I'd probably end up with another Amy in the end." he looked so fearful.

"Sean!" Manny put her hands on his shoulders and he jumped, "Reeelax." she sang sort of teasingly.

He still looked wrecked, but nodded and smiled slightly to her nicer tone.

Manny gave him a look of sympathy and then stepped back to admit, "She's out." she cringed and confessed, "Me and Emma have been sort of a, man hater club this year."

Sean looked confused but smirked slightly, "Classic you two." he teased.

She kept cringing though, finally getting to the part that might tick him off, "She's getting Peter back for me right now..."

Sean paused. Getting who back? Back how? For What?

"What?" Sean tried not to snap, but was so confused.

Manny bit the end of her tounge, "Not like I wanna explain this but lets just say while you were away, Degrassi played a home video infront of the whole school, starring..my boobs."

Sean's eyes widened and he coughed awkwardly

"Yea." Manny nodded and explained, "Peter recorded it and showed everybody. I was drunk. He had some _thing_ for Emma before it all went down so tonight, he's having a party, and Emma's going. I may of talked Emma into _maybe_ getting revenge on him for me."

Sean's body froze, "How?" he shook his head, "Do I wanna know? Just tell me she's at least not with anyone, or **him**."

"She's not _with, with_ him.." Manny said with a wince, "But she **might **physically be with him right now.."

Seans heart started to pound hard and he looked like a lost pussy, "You didn't..."

Manny looked guilty now and exclaimed, "We just thought it'd be fair if **his** certain.._parts_ were exposed as well. She's not gonna DO Anything Sean!" she insisted, seeing him back up, "She's just gonna make him think they are."

It still made his skin crawl, and he ran to his car, opening it and Manny watched him race in and out the driveway. The red car sped down the road.

Woah. Romantic. .

Manny sighed and smiled, shaking her head. She did hope he got to Emma first, maybe it was wrong to sink as low as Peter. She trusted Sean would find Emma first. . infact, she _hoped_ he would.


	18. More Where That Came From

Emma wore her long blonde hair in big wavy curls, her bangs slightly pulled back and a black little snug dress on herself. Manny called it the dress of operation: Seduce and ruin Peter.

It already had all the other guys gawking her at the party, but her eyes scanned for Peter. Manny was still so ruined over what had happened and after seeing Sean back in town and with Ellie again, Emma was on board with trying to take revenge on every slime ball in the world...starting with Peter.

They planned for Emma to get Peter alone, and then do exactly what he did to Manny, find him at his most exposed moment, and get a picture of it.

She fiddled with her clutch in her hands, her cellphone in it and ready for a photoshoot.

The party was crowded, she entered from the fence on the side and even then in the backyard were tons of people. Peter was a rich boy, wasn't shocking. His house was at least three stories.

Emma scanned the party for Peter, and she found him ofcourse preying on another girl until he glanced up and caught her eye. She smirked, but only because she saw exactly what Manny said he'd do, he drooled. He completely left the girl he was talking to mid sentence to come over and see her.

Meanwhile, outside the party, Sean parked his car and slammed it shut. There was some Degrassi students, but other people he hadnt' seen before but when they saw Sean Cameron at **this **party, eyes looking for blood, they stepped out of his way as quickly as they could.

Sean glanced up at the huge house before entering the front door and scowled... Rich guy, ofcourse. He swore if this didn't work, Emma would end up with one of these guys in the end anyways.. not some poor misfit guy like him, right?

Some girls smirked seeing Sean _Cameron_ at the party and then frowned, watching him quickly walking around the party and eyes clearly searching for someone else and didn't even notice them.

"Sean?" he heard.

He turned to J.t and his sighed in relief, "J.t, have you seen Emma?"

J.t looked baffled and taunted, "Why, Sean, I've been great...good to talk to you too. Also, you are looking _jizzled_ still." he taunted, eyeing Sean almost enviously. J.t WISHED he could grow biceps like that, maybe then it'd be harder for Liberty to get into fights with him.

Sean gave him a look but also looked desperate so J.T took SOME pity but eyed him suspiciously.

"what do you want with Emma?"

Sean opened his mouth and shut it, to scoff, "Alright J.t" he decided today was his redemption day with all his and Emma's old friends, "I screwed up. I was a jackass. You have every right to hate me, especially after I even treated you like_ we_ weren't even friends after me and Emma broke up," he looked down sadly, "But I just wanted to be away from anything that reminded me of her. Can you get that? I was trying my all to get over her."

J.t merely shrugged with half an eye roll but nodded slowly. Maybe he understood a bit..

Music started to blast around them and some skater guy jumped off the couch and Sean glared madly at him before going on and yelling over the music, "But I'm not!" he yelled at J.t with a look in his eyes, "I'm not over her." he shook his head.

J.t looked ready to roll his eyes again and just leave Sean stranded, but then he gave that famous ol goofy grin and slapped Sean's shoulder, "Course you're not, Seanny." he teased and **did** roll his eyes, "She's got you by the bal-"

"Hey!" Snapped Sean, giving him a look to shut up and he did but laughed and began to look around the party

"Now if we were Emma, where would we be..." J.t drifted and then shared a look with Sean, "Not here." he admitted. Emma wasn't a big party go-er.

Sean insisted, "Manny said she came for Peter." jealousy flashed through his eyes, and J.t chuckled at that.

Oh Sean and Emma, the same ol game

"Oh, _that _douche?" J.t then rolled his eyes and looked around, "I last saw him go out the door to the back yard with some girl.. his new victim." he snickered, "Did you know what he did to Mann-" J.t stopped, seeing Sean start to run to the back door. "The man is desperate." J.t joked but decided to follow.

Sean may need some back up! Who the hell was he kidding..that guy needed to back up but if he needed someone with witty remarks, J.t will be there!

Sean ran out first in the back yard, blue eyes scanning the party quickly and closely as J.t was close behind.

"Uh, Sean.." J.t drifted kinda wearily and Sean turned his head to him to see him point to the left.

Going up some steps that led from the backyard to some room in the house, was Peter and Emma. Holding hands.

Sean's heart tugged, pulled, twisted and **burned.**

"Lets go." he growled and charged toward them, J.t on his tail.

When they pushed through the crowd, it was hard enough, but on the stairs that led back into the house, a bunch of people leaned on the railings and steps, making it hard to pass.

J.T taunted loudly, "WHO COMES TO A PARTY AND CHILLS ON THE STAIRS!" he yelled at passing people, tripping over a foot but still kept close behind Sean who just shoved anyone in his way and jumped over feet.

Meanwhile.

"I thought you hated me." Peter practically purred, holding Emma against the door and hung his head low to her neck.

Her shakey fingers tried to act normal, clutching his collar and he finally kissed her neck. She bit her lip and cringed. It didn't feel right.

Maybe it was a bad idea.

Peter took her hands and pulled her near a bed in the room he brought her too. He sat on it, and looked up at her with wide eyes, "You're _beautiful."_ he sighed in admiration.

Emma stood there, an unsure look on her face but he smirked up to her and patted his hand down on the spot next to him on the bed.

Outside, Sean finally got to the door and tried to smack it open. Locked. He slammed his shoulder against it and cringed. It was a pretty good shielded door. When he took a few steps back from the door, J.T's eyes widened, knowing what Sean was gonna do.

J.T grabbed two girls near the door, away, "You might wanna step back."

_**BAM!**_

Sean broke the door down, shoving his shoulder and possibly injuring it as he bursted it open. Peter was standing there shirtless, a horror look upon his face.

Sean's eyes wildly looked around the room, J.T moved his body around but saw no Emma in site, "You're alone." JT bluntly said.

Peter glared angrily at him and then at Sean, "Ya. So what?! What the fuck man!? You broke my door! My parents are gonna kill me!"

Sean was breathless, and confused, looking around the room again and noticed another damn door that exited into the main part of the house. She must of went out there. . They must of not done anything, it's only been a minute since they entered, God he hoped they didn't do anything

Peter jumped back when this stranger took a threatening step over to him til he was held up against the wall in a choke hold, "What the-" he choked a bit and gave Sean a pleading look to let go.

"Did you hurt her?!" Sean shouted, loosening his grip only a little

Peter caught his breath and snapped, "WHO!?" he then remembered Emma was in, "Emma?" he glared at Sean, "What do you want with her?"

J.t snickered behind them, "New kids." he commented, rolling his eyes. Peter clearly didn't know who he was fucking with or what Sean and Emma were .

"No." Peter then huffed, "We came in here, I thought we were gonna hook up. .but then she just _leaves_." he rolled his eyes bitterly, "She's a tease."

Peter groaned when a fist was blowed at his stomach and he bent down. Sean let him go and was storming to the door Emma must of went out of but felt his heart pounding happily. Good. They didn't do anything. thank fucking god. . the thoughts that were running through Sean's head were unbearable.

Peter was on the ground, holding his stomach and glared at the floor, thinking Sean was gone, "Jackass."

J.t entertainingly watched Sean stop and Peter pull himself to his feet. Peter's eyes widened, seeing Sean was still there and storm back.

"By the way," Sean shot his fist back

"OH!" J.t and Peter both painfully yelled, but Peter was probably MORE in pain. His head shot back from the punch and he leaned on the wall, sliding down it and nose covered in blood.

My god, it felt BROKEN!

"Stay away from Manny." Sean warned, "and there's more where that came from if you ever even **glance** Emma's way again." he turned and then, finally left.

J.t happily fled after him, giggling to the fact Peter's nose looked broken. Liberty was NOT going to believe him when he told her what happened tonight.

_**REVIEWS REVIEWS :) I ain't going on til I get some! Tehe. Glad I kept going though. love my readers! How do you think Sean can make it up to Emma? Will he even find her? Where do you think she went.. **_


	19. A Step In The Right Direction

Manny opened the door to both J.T and Sean and looked around them, "No Emma?"

Sean's shoulders fell, face turning, "She's not here?" he had hoped she came back home. Why the hell was this girl always so hard to find when you needed her?

J.t sighed and asked, "Where else would she be?"

"She wasn't at the party?" Manny asked and stepped out, closing the door behind her. She was ready to help! Go old Semma team!

J.t whistled, "Let's uh," he glanced at Sean, "Not get into that, Manny."

Manny raised an eyebrow, sensing something but decided to ignore it and wondered out loud, "She could be at Libertys?"

J.t shook his head no knowingly, "Doctors right now."

Sean bit the end of his tounge, itching the back of his head and looked down, kicking a stone by his feet, "Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I'm not suppose to find her."

Manny saddened and stepped forward, "No, just think. Where would **you** think she was, Sean?"

Sean stopped and paused, glancing at her oddly but then tried to think. Emma.. think _Emma_ . She had no plans, her closest friends were with him.. she loved her environment.. .a park? Sean's eyes widened

"Ravine."

"She wouldn't!" exclaimed Manny and paused, "Well... not for old time reasons.." still though, the three ran to the car.

Sean just be right.

THE RAVINE.

Emma looked around at the same old park, same old broken down vans to go hook up in. She wrinkled her nose and walked far away from **that**.

It was only around 6, nothing but a dark blue sky but enough to see and someone had already started a bon fire.

Emma took a seat on one of the benches and frowned deeply, staring at the fire. Why couldn't she get over him?

Behind her, a figure slowly walked over from behind her and swiftly took a seat next to her, "Do you really think you should be here?"

Emma turned her head and answered, "It's a good place to think."

He chuckled, and nodded, "True but, you should stay away from here. If I wasn't here I'm sure one of these little twerps would of tried something on you."

"You **are** one of those little twerps, Jay."

Jay smirked and shrugged innocently, "Maybe I still am." he agreed but nudged his shoulder into hers, "But you know it's not like _that_ with us anymore.."

"Big fat agreement with you there." mumbled Emma, staring back into the fire. That was SUCH a mistake, hooking up with Jay once upon a time...but, then again, oddly he turned into someone she could easily talk to... but anything more, nah, just not them.

Wierd.

..were Jay and Emma somewhat...friendly now?

"But I'm here for you if you need to talk." he finished.

Wow. Maybe they were.

Emma smiled slightly, nodding but still ended up staring down at her hands sadly.

Jay took a sip of his beer, snickering a bit, "though if it wasn't for us doin the dirty.." he drifted off.

Emma gave him an annoyed look that he laughed at, knowing she was thinking he was going to say something else, something pervy.. but what came out of his mouth instead shocked her more.

"Bam Bam wouldn't of ever stood up like a man finally for what he wants."

"He hasn't stood up for anything." muttered Emma, almost bitterly.

Jay raised his eyebrows impressed, "Oh no?" he tested.

"No." Emma snapped back and her face angrily shifted, "It's like he's just around to make me fall in love with him over and over just to end up hurting me. I'm just that stupid girl that keeps clinging to her ex who has _clearly _moved on." Emma rolled her eyes at herself, "He's with Ellie for crying out loud. He's not coming back to _me"_ she snickered bitterly, "bu_t why_ do I keep thinking he **will**?"

"Cause you know him best, not Ellie"

Emma glared but not really at _him_, "oh why don't you let Sean know that?"

"Cause he already knows it." shrugged Jay and put down his beer. He sat up and taunted loudly, "You do know that he dumped Ellie right?"

Emma was a bit stunned but looked around and mumbled, "No." but then again, even if he did, that doesn't mean it was for her.

"Because of you." Jay bluntly put it.

Emma's mouth fell but then shut her eyes and shook her head, "No." she stood up off the bench and scoffed, "I'm _done_. We haven't talked in forever. I gave **all of me** to him a-and it meant nothing to him."

Jay stood up, glaring down at her now and she actually got a little intimidated, "How do you know it meant nothing, huh?" he bittered, pointing at her, "Did you go and talk to the guy, GP? No. You didn't." he rolled his eyes, "So stop blaming him when its the **both **of you." He walked around her and taunted, "You guys are gonna kill us all one day."

Emma madly stormed after him, "What does that mean!?"

He tossed over his shoulder annoyingly, "_Everyone _knows it Nelson, and if you're that blind and can't see it, you're not as smart as we all thought you were." he did laugh a little.

Emma bitterly snickered. Well, that's for sure. When it came to Sean Camerons ping pong feelings, consider her the dumbest girl in the world.

"Jay just tell me what you mean." she put her hand on his arm, turning him.

Jay looked back at her and stopped. He huffed and looked around, "I can't." he said.

Emma almost stomped her foot childishly "Why not?!"

He snickered and shrugged, "Cause Cameron would kill me if I told you before he did."

Emma curiously turned her head, "You don't mean..."

Jay peirced his lips, "See? You're not that dumb." he taunted.

Emma shook her head, "He can't be."

Jay gave an animalist groan and grabbed Emma by the shoulders, "The guy dated you for how long? And when he's not with you, dates girl completely opposite of you, don't you get why? You're like his, dream girl or whatever. The good girl to his bad. Yet even when apart, he still watches you like a hawk every chance he gets. He beats the shit out of me for you. He _saves_ you from getting your pretty little head shot and gets shot himself in the process, and did you even hear **one** complaint about it from him? Never. Not once. Cause the guys **fuckin'** inlove with **YOU.**" Jay said with wide eyes, squeezing her shoulders so she just GETS it.

Emma's wide eyes looked up at Jay like a deer in the headlights. She never saw _that_ comin.

Jay licked his lips and took his hands off her slowly, coming to terms he may of had some mental break down, "Now go find the guy who just dumped Ellie _for you_, before I go sign myself up in the mental institution from hearing you both mope and cry about another and **do nothing** about it."

Emma couldn't help but giggle but still blinked once or twice, trying to keep this in. Oh god he was right...

"Where is he?" Emma asked quickly, heart pounding.

Jay squinted his eyes, "Oh right." he tried to think, "Well, not his apartment, he gave that Ellie and is suppose to start staying with me so...try the Dot?"

Emma nodded, and quickly went to run to the left-

"Emma!" taunted Jay and she came back, looking around curiously.

"W-what?" she said breathlessly. If she didn't go face Sean now, she may not ever. What the hell did Jay want!?

"Dot's that way." Jay pointed to the right.

Emma let a smile creep out and they shared a smirk til she went running in the **right** direction.


	20. Chapter 20

Sean's red car pulled into the ravine with Manny and J.t in the truck. Toby also stepped out from the back.

"This place reeks of cigerettes." Toby said in disgust, looking around and waving his hand infront of his nose as Manny came out the same side as him.

"Why'd you even come then, Toby?" she taunted, giving him a 'shut up' look and went looking for Emma too when Sean charged by them.

Toby and J.t walked together as Toby chuckled, "Well I can't miss **this.**"

J.t nodded with him, sharing goofy smiles.

Sean noticed Jay at his usual bench and the others stopped behind him, "Jay!" he didn't mean to bark, but was getting desperate now.

Jay turned and his eyes widened a bit, glancing where Emma ran off, "What are you doing here?" he asked Sean

Manny stepped beside Sean and Jay glanced twice at her, "Look," she put her hands on her hips and stepped infront of Sean to point at Jay warningly, "He's had a long day, and we're looking for Emma. And with that **big mouth** of yours Jay Hogart, by God, you better tell the truth right now if you have or haven't seen her in the past hour."

Jay's eyes were stunned and glued on her, his heart pounding, but for different reasons. He smirked doopily and shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Yea I've seen her _dimples_."

Damn this girl was fiesty, and he was lovin' it. Damn hot too, she always had been but she's never given him the time of day and he's **never** been face to face with her. . ... it was even hotter up close.

Manny blinked, a bit shocked but then nodded, "Good..**Good**." she stood up straighter and shook her head, wondering why Jay was looking at her like **that**. "Where'd she go?" she taunted

Jay snapped out of it and quickly answered, "The Dot." shrugged Jay, glancing at Sean over Manny's shoulder, "she just left."

Sean ran two frustrated hands through his hair, giving out the same animalistic groan Jay did with Emma just moments ago.

"Yea man, know how you feel." joked Jay.

Sean madly put his arms out surrendering like, "If I don't find her _tonight-_" he paused and furrowed his eyebrows, looking suddenly nervous, "If I wait one more day to tell her how I feel, I don't know if I'll be as brave as I am tonight."

J.t chimed in, trying to lighten the mood, "You exhausted from chasing Emma for one day? Try years, right Tobes?" he slapped Toby's back, joking about his old crush on Emma

Toby scowled at him. Toby accepted a LONG time ago that Emma's heart belonged to someone else.. plus, Sean has been chasing Emma as long as him and more desperately. The two were in love.

"Go to the Dot, Sean." Toby insisted.

Manny nodded with Jay, agreeing, "One more try." she insisted.

Sean nodded and turned, fishing his pockets for his keys to dive into his car.

"Oh wait.." drifts J.t, watching the red car fly past him, "He just left us." he turned to Manny and Toby and then gave Jay a wierd look when he caught his eye.

Jay glared but then softened, shifting in his spot and grabbed his keys out of his pocket with a sigh, "You guys can come with me." he tried to say as nicely as he could.

Manny caught his eye and she looked strangely at him. He was...acting kinda, different.

She nodded though frantically, sharing looks with Toby and J.T who also agreed and they went to Jay's orange civic, climbing in.

Meanwhile, Emma tried to catch her breath, running through the night and up the stairs of the Dot and smiled as she opened the door and almost fell in.

Empty.

Spinner turned from the counter, drying some mug with a rag in his hands, "Hey Emma." he greeted then eyed her wierdly for her breathless state.

Emma looked around the Dot and her shoulders dropped. No Sean.

"Spin, has Sean been here?" Emma at least asked, walking to his counter.

Spinner grinned curiously, "No." he answered, wondering why his ex was lookin', "Sorry." he insisted though.

Emma stared down at her hands on the counter sadly then numbly. She was a true believer of fate. "Just not meant to be, I guess." she mumbled.

"Huh?" Spinner asked, over by the sink now and picking up more dishes.

Emma blinked, snapping out of it but her heart caving in, "N-nothing." her voice cracked and she coughed a little, covering her mouth.

Don't cry..

"Well," he passed her a sorry look, "We're closin up.."

Emma glanced at the clock. Oh god, midnight. Yea, she better get home...

"Thanks." she just said and walked to the door, opening it and stepping back outside into the night.

Emma stepped out of the Dot to glance up, and did a double take. Her mouth gaped a bit and she slowly shut the door with her numb hands.

Sean stood infront of her, down the few steps. His eyes were as deer like as hers and he was panting a bit. His and Jay's car parked 5 feet behind him, with all their friends leaning on it and smirking at her, watching the scene.

Emma now looked puzzeled, "What are.." she drifted off, noticing even Toby and J.t here.

Sean jogged up the stairs to meet her, face to face and warned, "**Don't** _even_ **move**." he teased but gave her a playful glare.

Emma opened her mouth, "What's goin-" he crashed his lips to hers, pulling the back of her head and she yelped until falling into his arms and feeling his hunger in the kiss. She melted a bit and slowly kissed back

So it's **not** over?

Emma smiled against the kiss and kissed back deeper, and he sighed between the kiss happily, sliding his arms around her waist tightly.

Manny smiled happily, beaming from between the boys who rolled their eyes at her girlish behavior from this but she caught Jay's smirk and she blushed.

Emma and Sean pulled away, breathless, and her eyes slowly fluttered to his still shut.

Sean said breathlessly, "I've been waiting **awhile** to do that again." he opened his eyes to smirk at her and her still stunned face, but blush against her cheeks. He cupped her face, and his thumbs circled softly against her cheeks.

Emma's didn't understand. She was here for him, and he ended up finding HER?! And he kissed her..

"I still love you, Em." he whispered helplessly, and looked at her hopefully, "_Please_ say you love me too still."

Emma couldn't believe it, the complete power Sean just gave _her_ over him.

"I.." she drifted off.

Sean's eyes almost widened, seeing her choke up. Oh god. Oh shit, she hadn't even ever _said_ she loved him. How could he even ask her if she **still** did? He just always thought it never needed to be said with him, that it was completely obvious...but with her, oh fuck, what if she just didn't even love him?

Emma noticed Sean's eyes almost look at her terrified and she didn't mean to laugh but he looked so scared. She'd never seen Sean scared or so nervous, she never knew **she** could make him like this.

She cupped his face when he looked down, "Sorry, sorry." she shook her head from laughing and quickly declared, "I .. _love you too_." she nodded pretty surely, "I just didn't know **you **did."

Sean gave her a look like she was crazy, and then replied, "Sean Cameron doesn't chase _anyone_, Emma Nelson."

Emma blushed madly, biting her lip and he grinned, pulling her back tightly in his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck, "He does me." she taunted.

He smirked, nodding and leaned in, "That I do..." he kissed her tenderly, and she moaned in the kiss.

"Lets go." Toby told J.t, and they started to walk away as the couple made out on the Dot steps.

"Yea, gross." J.T joked, walking off

Jay coughed and looked away, then glanced to Manny who still stood there star eyed at the scene.

"You want a ride, dimples?"

Manny smiled, kinda liking that name. She glanced over to him and back at Emma. Something told her she wasn't coming home tonight.

"Sure." she nodded and Jay even opened her door for her, getting into his car.

Meanwhile, Sean and Emma pulled away from another, hearts pounding madly and Sean couldn't remember ever being _this happy. _She opened her hazel eyes at him and smiled softly, happily... it was _his smile_. He gave her back the grin only Emma Nelson could too, get out of him.

"Lets get out of here." Sean pulled her hand and they entangled their fingers slowly into anothers.. loving the feel of being tangled up once again. While walking to his car, a bunch of strangers were walking by them until he felt Emma stop and eye a guy passing with the crowd.

"Peter?" Emma asked with an odd look, hand still in Sean's and watching Peter pass. He had a broken nose, a patch over it and everything, bruised. He glanced around moodily until he caught their eyes, his eyes then widened and looked away, walking away faster than lightening.

"What was that?" Emma had to ask, laughing a little though as Sean tried to hide his smile and shrug.

"Who knows." he opened Emma's side door, letting go of her hand and smiled lovingly as she looked at him like she knew him too well.

Emma raised an eyebrow, leaning on the car door he held before she went in, "Work of yours?"

"I call it **art**." he smugly said with that grin that made her knees weak and she smiled, giggling and got in.

He laughed and shut the door. Oh yeah. Him and Emma were gonna be just fine again. Together forever. You know the deal.

Life didn't get better than this..

...down the street, Jay's car hadn't made it home to Emma's for Manny. It was parked on the side of the road, and on top of Jay was Manny, making out breathlessly with him on his lap.

She ripped away from the kiss, rising a finger, "Just so you know," she said snappily.

Jay panted, and listened, he didn't even care she was glaring at him or seemed to be giving him an ear full. Damn, he could fall for this type of girl. She was a **fox.** Perfect.

She went on, "This is _only_ because of after that little romantic scene out there, I'm just feelings a little.." she drifed off, staring at his full lips.

He was a damn good kisser...what was she saying again?

"hot?" he asked with a taunting smirk, his hands smoothing around her hips and she stradled him and he groaned.

"Really hot.." she whispered, leaniing down to kiss him again and then snapped out of it, "No! I-I mean..."

"Aroused?" he taunted again and she wanted to hit him, or kiss him..she wasn't sure anymore. Since when was she **really** liking the new Jay Hogart?

His hands started sliding through her long brown hair and moved his head up to kiss around her neck and suck on it playfull. Manny moaned and then shoved him back, "No! Just.."

"Manny." he said, pulling away and lifting an eyebrow.

She bit her lip, but they shared a look. It's like without any words, he understood her.

"We can see what this is another day. Don't hurt yourself by thinking too hard." he teased, but knew exactly how she felt.

They shared a smirk together and she nodded, smiling more and he adored her dimples. They passionately kissed again.

Hmmm... now she kinda understood Emma's love of bad boys..they really were addicting.

And that, folks, is how the story ends.


End file.
